Rebekah Kuschmider

The New England Journal of Medicine is reporting promising results from an experimental vaginal ring for STD prevention. Like the rings for birth control, this device is a flexible ring that a woman inserts into her vagina. Instead of releasing birth control, the ring releases anti-bacterial or anti-viral medications to stop STDs before they take hold.

Trump has been increasingly infuriated over the Russia investigation overseen by Comey and his agency. He even screams at the TV when he sees reporting on it. That explains his idea of demanding cover for firing the FBI director.

There is literally zero precedent for foreign influence on elections in the US — at least to this degree — and no one seems to know what to do with the information.

Call me when Starbucks is serving a drink laced with cyanide and then I’ll join you in outrage.

Students at Arkansas colleges and universities are finding some new information added to orientation materials:

If you are a dog or a cat and have sensitive hearing and a limited understanding of patriotism, fireworks seem like an assault. For all your dog knows, the world is actually ending in a blaze of colorful sparkles and loud explosions.

Apparently, the trend of very sheer tops that allow the nipple to make its presence known is the inspiration for this new twist on cosmetic surgery. Celebs have been photographed with nips in evidence, and people are bringing the photos to doctors' offices to say: “Give me these nipples, pretty please.”

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

You could probably look on the internet and find people whining about the changes, but I’m in too good a mood about seeing women and minorities on my money to go looking for bigots and their rainy damn parades.

So why are you still sitting here reading this? Get up! Grab your keys! Go get a doughnut!