Rebekah Kuschmider

It was only a matter of time before virtual reality brought us the sex toy of the future. That time, apparently, is now.

June 7th is the last big day to pick the party nominees for President.

We have all made it through another madcap week here in 2017. All kinds of groovy things have been going on — and by groovy, I mean things that make everyone ask: 'Dude, is he on drugs? No? Then am I on drugs? Because this is all too weird not to involve drugs.'

One escort interviewed said she was changing $620 PER HOUR for the “girlfriend experience,” which includes taking her to films and walking the red carpet at events. She has a strict 4- and 5-star hotel policy. No yacht parties though, for safety reasons.

She almost makes a good point, but it’s lost among the WTF of her not realizing that babies need more care than dumped friends. That we have reached a point where caring for children is the ONLY excuse for walking away from work for a few hours shows a screwed up attitude toward work. Not to mention that employers pay too little to allow people the flexibility to take breaks to recharge.

President Obama is not here for campus sexual assault. Literally.

Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD are planning to attempt the first US penis transplant. The surgery will be performed on a soldier who was wounded in Afghanistan.

Paul Ryan and 216 other Republican representatives (but no Democrats, FYI) voted to pass the American Health Care Act (AHCA), which is an attempt to unmake everything that the Affordable Act (Obamacare, if you’re a nasty woman or bad hombre) did to make health insurance more accessible, more comprehensive, and less expensive.

We salute you, fidget spinner dog. You are a good boy.

Teachers deserve our appreciation for the work they do all day long. If you’re looking for ways to show teachers how much they mean to you here are a few tips: