Rebekah Kuschmider

Yesterday, the Republican National Convention kicked off in Cleveland, Ohio. One of my friends predicted it would be a spectacle of epic proportions, involving pyrotechnics, all-female military drills teams reminiscent of Ghadaffi’s personal guard, and jungle cats.

The news cycle feels like a roller coaster ride these days. We’re all sitting in this little car, plunging up and down without any control over anything. But at least we have Dan Rather along for the ride.

It’s true. There are goats in Morocco who climb argan trees, eat their fruit, and then expel the seeds so that new argan trees can grow.

They unmanned a man using manhood. They dicked the dick.

With fewer people facing unintended pregnancies, the net abortion numbers are down.

This is Jungletrax Abiding Ovation and she is an award winning Bengal cat who’s all kinds of cat-famous.

Looking at the sun with unprotected eyes leaves the eyes vulnerable to damage. You can cause damage in as little as 90 seconds. 90 NON-CONSECUTIVE seconds.

Scalia’s death leaves a vacancy in the Supreme Court, and apparently also a vacancy in the GOP’s understanding of presidential powers.

If you are a dog or a cat and have sensitive hearing and a limited understanding of patriotism, fireworks seem like an assault. For all your dog knows, the world is actually ending in a blaze of colorful sparkles and loud explosions.

Attendees of the Sanders event stood along the street when Clinton’s motorcade arrived and threw 1,000 $1 bills at her vehicle. Twitter was alight with notices about “making it rain” on Hillary’s car. I have questions.