Rebekah Kuschmider

Remember a couple of weeks ago when we got all excited to find out that the

So far, he’s raised $43,000 to produce his gizmo, which looks like a cross between a pacifier and foot massaging insole. You hold the end of it in your mouth and use the “tongue” to… well… lick your cat.

While the campaign strategy of insulting minorities, women, immigrants, disabled people, and the LGBTQ community may win some electoral votes, it doesn’t make creative people — many of whom are women, minorities, immigrants, disabled, LGBTQ, or allies of the aforementioned — want to be seen on a stage with him.

There is literally zero precedent for foreign influence on elections in the US — at least to this degree — and no one seems to know what to do with the information.

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. Sports bras also come in all shapes and sizes. And now, Nike sports bra models (and their breasts) come in all shapes and sizes.

As a political philosophy, feminism proposes that women are entitled to all the same rights as men under the law. There was a time when this was a radical notion and it required a whole lot of hard work to make certain crucial elements of that possible. Such as a the right of women to vote. Or to own property. Or to obtain divorce. Or sign contracts. Or use birth control.

When I saw the trending hashtag #DemocraticWhores, I got really excited, thinking maybe Democrats were all strutting around today in those sensational boots Julia Roberts wore way back in Pretty Woman. Nancy Pelosi could rock those boots, don’t you think?

We have all made it through another madcap week here in 2017. All kinds of groovy things have been going on — and by groovy, I mean things that make everyone ask: 'Dude, is he on drugs? No? Then am I on drugs? Because this is all too weird not to involve drugs.'

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

While the pirates of old were famous for having parrots on their shoulders, Instagram sensation Guirec Soudée, a 24-year-old French man, has spent two years sailing around the world with a bird of a different feather — his pet chicken Monique.