Rebekah Kuschmider

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is no such thing as a perfect bra. More annoying is the equally-universally acknowledged truth that good bras are never cheap, and cheap bras are seldom any good.

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

When I need a moment to feel better about everything around me, I type “dogs” into the search field of my news app and wait for the magic to happen. Dogs always come through, and today is no different.

Massachusetts couple Lauri and Cari Ryding came home from vacation to find their porch a mess. Someone had egged their house. They were targeted because they’re gay — the vandals made their hate apparent by also stealing the Ryding’s rainbow flag.

Sexual orientation is not a lifestyle and gay people are not a monolith. Much as women are all individuals with different wants, needs, and preferences, so are gay people, bi people, asexual people, polyamorous people, and pansexual people (also people who present gender differently that the usual male/female binary but gender identity is a different thing than sexual orientation and will likely be the subject of a whole different essay).

Canna Vine is making this miraculous concoction that consists of organic marijuana and biodynamically farmed grapes. I don’t know what biodynamic farming is but it does sound very special and like it would result in good tasting wine.

So, millions of people every year tune in to watch the Victori

So why are you still sitting here reading this? Get up! Grab your keys! Go get a doughnut!

Brace yourselves, folks. I may be about to present you with the best news of 2016: ice cream for breakfast can make you smarter!