Rebekah Kuschmider

Apple CEO Tim Cook has taken to the internet to tell the world the company will not be complying with FBI requests to hack the San Bernardino shooters’ phones.

There is a working group of 14 Republican men and one Republican woman (the woman was added after the outcry about the original all-male revue-style workgroup got loud enough) who are creating the Senate version of the bill in secret. Behind closed doors. No hearings to discuss major points of the law. No input from stakeholder groups like hospitals, patient advocacy groups, doctors, or insurance companies. No input from Senate Democrats.

Today is National Wine D

Good lord, I don’t even know how to start this.

The First Amendment of the Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Notably, there are no instructions for exactly how to petition the government, and no limits on what kind of grievances for which citizens may seek redress. Which is why it’s totally constitutional and patriotic that a lady lit into Florida Governor Rick Scott in a Starbucks.

There is no word yet if Fisher is bringing her dog Gary to the event. (We sure hope so.)

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

You can’t deal either, can you? Of course you can’t. So listen: let’s stop talking about this scum-sucking-bottom-feeder and focus on something happy. Like a puppy finding a home and a job.

The long battle to pick apart the Affordable Care Act continues today in the Supreme Court, with yet another case about the portion of the law that

The big additions are in the food category, where we’ll see the much-longed-for bacon finally appear, along with clinking champagne glasses and a potato. Sounds like a meal to me!