Rebekah Kuschmider

This week, the golfer in chief launched TrumpTV, a series of Facebook live updates detailing the great state of the universe according to Donald Trump.

She almost makes a good point, but it’s lost among the WTF of her not realizing that babies need more care than dumped friends. That we have reached a point where caring for children is the ONLY excuse for walking away from work for a few hours shows a screwed up attitude toward work. Not to mention that employers pay too little to allow people the flexibility to take breaks to recharge.

I know a woman who worked in an inner-city hospital before the passage of Roe v Wade. Every week, staff there saw women come in battling massive infection or blood loss. They actually reserved beds for women like this because it was so common. The cause? Illegal, unsafe abortions. But that was then, right? That was 42 years ago, right? That doesn’t happen anymore, right? Wrong.

For all of us who have wished we could be hooked up to an IV of coffee, the moment may have arrived! No, your doctor isn’t willing to install a PIC line for you to hook up to an urn at your local Starbucks. Instead, some entrepreneurs are crowd-funding to produce a bracelet that administers a steady stream of transdermal caffeine.

So. The election. Yeah.

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

If the point they’re trying to make is that creepers are gonna creep, well, I hope they get a look in the mirror while they’re in there.

Dating can be awkward and weird, especially when things seem to be going well and the time comes to discuss big issues. We’ve all have conversations about careers, and kids, and travel, and birth control, and abortion, and HIV status, and million other cringe-worthy topics but have you ever asked if your date owns a gun?

If you are trans, living in Cali

If the first line of your personal dating profile reads: “Must love combovers, bankruptcy court, and misogyny,” have I got good news for you! There is now a special dating site just for singles who support Donald Trump.