The Blood Moon Is Coming And It's Bringing The Apocalypse

In today's OH MY GOD, HERE WE GO AGAIN news: the apocalypse. Yep. You heard it here first. The end is nigh, folks. It starts with a simple lunar eclipse and ends with the END OF TIMES.

In case you don't know what a lunar eclipse is, it's basically an earth shadow. There's really no other way to put it that won't be confusing. Here is a detailed description — warning, much science. You might hurt yourself trying to understand The Geometry (I need some Excedrin). The "blood" part of the blood moon has to do with light deflection and waves and rays and stuff and things I don't understand because I'm just a writer and not an astronomer. Cut me some slack, you guys. 

So anyway, September 28th marks the fourth lunar eclipse of this year (and the last) and some guys, who are religious (obviously) just want us commoners to know that either an asteroid or an earthquake is about to take us out. "Some guys" are Mr. Blitz and Mr. Hagee, and there's something about Ukraine and the Messiah and I just don't even understand what's happening. Now I don't know these guys at all, so it's not really fair to call them lunatics. But LUNA is in the word LUNAtic and LUNA means moon, pretty much. And I'm just going to leave that there for you. 

I'm like 97% sure that this is just another in the long line of Doomsday prophecies.


1.The Mayan Calendar: December 21. 2012. THE END IS COMING. 


2. Harold Camping and the rapture: May 21, 2011, at precisely 6:00 p.m. It's ALL OVER.



4. Nostradamus: The King of Terror which would ultimately come from the sky on August 11, 1999. And that was nine days from my 25th birthday. I WAS WORRIED YOU GUYS. Hey, Nostra, what NOW?

I turned 25. SORRY. 

5. The Great Flood and the Flying Saucer: Let's not forget this gem, Chicago housewife Dorothy Martin (aka Marion Keech) warned us that a flood was coming on or before December 21. 1954. She knew it because the planet Clarion told her so. BUT...thank God there would be a flying saucer to rescue the faithful. I am SO glad that didn't happen because A. My mom was born in 1953 so she would have been swept away for sure and B. INTERNET. What would have happened without Al Gore? No Internet, that's what. 

I'm gonna just really go out on a limb here and say we probably aren't going to die next week. Which is great news, because the new Star Wars is coming and I really want to see it and I definitely can't see it if I am buried in rubble under an asteroid. 

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