Bernie being Bernie.
He probably even thinks that by doing so, he is an advocate for women's issues. But he is wrong.
Tuesday night, I tuned in to the first Democratic debate and, like most of its viewers, enjoyed a well-reasoned and responsible dialogue that focused on issues rather than hyperbole. But, in and amongst all of that admirable adulting, I also heard a sentence that made me wince. When asked about paid family leave, Bernie Sanders said this: "Every other major country on Earth, every one, including some small countries, say that when a mother has a baby, she should stay home with that baby."
Let me repeat that, just in case you missed it. Bernie Sanders said that a mother "should stay home" with her baby. When I first heard that sentence, I looked at my teenagers, and began yelling, "Mothers?! Should?!" My oldest son, who is 17 now, shrugged and replied, "Well, they should stay home with their babies, right? I mean, isn't that a good thing?"
My son, like Sanders, has good intentions. He believes he is supporting what is "best" for women and children. He probably even thinks that by doing so, he is an advocate for women's issues. But he is wrong –– and so is Sanders.
Now, I know that many of you will immediately and passionately disagree with me. I know that you will say that I am not being fair. You will tell me that Sanders champions women's right to choose and that paid family leave benefits women and children. You will tell me a lot of things, and many of them are true, but I will tell you that you are wrong in at least one critical aspect –– no one who believes that he is qualified to tell a woman what she "should" do with her life is a feminist candidate, and no one BUT a feminist candidate is qualified to represent me, you, or a nation of women.
Yes, Sanders calls himself an advocate for women. But, when push comes to shove, he gives more credence to his opinions about parenting than every individual woman's right to make her own choices about her life, her family, and her career. Even if he advocates for women's rights, he is doing so from an inherently paternalistic and ultimately patriarchal perspective, and that simply isn't progress.
These types of assumptions about families and adherence to traditional gender roles hurt women, but they hurt men, too. Sanders is doing fathers a disservice by holding them to a different standard than mothers. While I disagree with Sanders that mothers "should" stay home with their babies, if he believes that to be true then he should believe that fathers "should" stay home with their babies, too. Mothers do not corner the market on parenting, and it is absurd to suggest that they are the only ones who should be providing infant care.
And that, my friends, is why Bernie Sanders will not get my vote. The last thing that America needs is another man telling women what they "should" do.
