Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Ben Carson Declares Muslims Unfit For Presidency, Apparently Can't Comprehend The Constitution

Carson's comments came in response to the shitshow that was Trump's campaign rally last week, where an attendee asked a question about how Trump would handle the "problem" that is Muslims in America, and incorrectly stated that President Obama is Muslim. Frankly, it doesn't matter what religion the president adopts, if any, but it's long since been settled that Obama is, in fact, Christian.

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When Healthy Isn't An Option: How I Learned To Love My Chronically Ill Body

I lost 100 pounds, and I kept most of it off. But I am not healthy, and I never will be.

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World's First Surviving Septuplets Turn 18, Proving We're All Really Old

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

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SHOCKER: Men And Women Experience Pain Differently

As you might imagine, assuming that men and women are exactly the same hasn't worked out too well.

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You're Literally Addicted To Babies, Study Finds

Science has finally confirmed what moms have been saying forever –– that newborn baby smell is intoxicating.

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Bernie being Bernie.

Bernie Sanders Thinks Women Should Stay Home With Their Babies

Let me repeat that, just in case you missed it. Bernie Sanders said that a mother "should stay home" with her baby. When I first heard that sentence, I looked at my teenagers, and began yelling, "Mothers?! Should?!" My oldest son, who is 17 now, shrugged and replied, "Well, they should stay home with their babies, right? I mean, isn't that a good thing?"

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37 Things I've Learned In My 37 Years

"23. Coffee is full of antioxidants and is therefore a healthy and necessary part of each day."

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Don't be fooled. She's actually pushing that child onto the bus.

25 Signs That You're Beyond Ready To Send Your Kids Back To School

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

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Don't be afraid.

It Doesn’t Matter What Causes Autism (But It Does Matter How We Treat It)

I know what autism looks like, and I understand why people are afraid of it because, at its worst moments, it is desperately, terribly ugly — it is children who can’t communicate, who become adults who are unable to live independently, and who simply cannot cope with the onslaught of sensory input that we barely notice. It is meltdowns that are triggered by nothing and everything, learning difficulties, and services that cost our healthcare system billions of dollars every year.

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