Jody Allard

It's Election Day AND National Sandwich Day today and, somehow, I feel like these important two events must be related.

I know what autism looks like, and I understand why people are afraid of it because, at its worst moments, it is desperately, terribly ugly — it is children who can’t communicate, who become adults who are unable to live independently, and who simply cannot cope with the onslaught of sensory input that we barely notice. It is meltdowns that are triggered by nothing and everything, learning difficulties, and services that cost our healthcare system billions of dollars every year.

Former Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole endorsed Jeb Bush for president today, leaving the world scratching their heads and expressing their surprise that Dole is actually still alive.

You can stop talking now. Ssshhhh.

Former President Jimmy Carter announced that his most recent scans showed no evidence of cancer, and he may owe his rapid response to science.

". . . it is illegal to sell fetal tissue, but it is perfectly legal to receive compensation for the time and expense involved in collecting, preparing, storing, and transporting tissue for research purposes. This is well-established in the rules and regulations surrounding organ and tissue donation. Similar regulations also make it illegal to sell children, but legal to compensate parents for medical care and expenses incurred during an adoption."

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.

In 1997, Kenny and Bobbi McCaughey made history when they welcomed the first set of surviving septuplets to the world. Now, 18 years later, as the septuplets prepare to leave the nest, the world has only one question: "How the hell did we all get so old?"

SB 277, now known as California state law, strips parents of their right to informed consent while claiming that it's for their own good. Proponents of the law claim that it is necessary to mandate vaccinations in order to preserve herd immunity and to prevent a public health crisis. That is simply not the case.