Jody Allard

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

A man who stabbed three people in a London subway station Saturday tried to instill fear of ISIS by yelling "This is for Syria" as he was hauled away by police. Instead, it is the words of a bystander that captured the world's attention.

Is racism the only reason that nine people died in Charleston last week, or is there something more going on here?

I don't know what your family has told you, but it isn't normal for a brother to fondle his sisters as they sleep or while he reads them a story.

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

We're giving you some of that judgmental side eye right back, Chris.

Image: ABC News

In today's news, the sky is blue, Republican lawmakers are assholes, and the House just voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Again.

“I may not be your dream candidate just yet, but I can assure you I am Hillary Clinton's worst nightmare. And in your heart of hearts, you cannot wait to see a debate between Hillary Clinton and Carly Fiorina,” she said. “I will tell you this, I will beat Hillary Clinton."

"I think he has to answer for what he says, and I assume that others will make the larger point about his language. It’s not the first time he’s demonstrated a penchant for sexism. Again, I’m not sure anybody’s surprised that he keeps pushing the envelope," said Clinton.