Jody Allard

Before you run to the bathroom to puke out your human DNA containing hot dog while sobbing over delicious bacon, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

No one enters into marriage and becomes whole; there is no magical superpower that's granted alongside the marriage license. Marriage is simply two imperfect people who choose to come together in an imperfect union. That union can be remarkable and powerful, but it can also be dysfunctional and excruciating. Sometimes, it's even abusive.

". . . a couple of people posted the nastiest sex ad they could come up with to Craigslist and published all of the responses, including pictures, email addresses, etc. Unfortunately, my ex husband was dumb enough to use a fake email address but still send this "woman" multiple pictures of himself that included both his face and his dick. It was very obvious to everyone concerned that my husband was soliciting nasty sex online."

In case you forgot how good it is to be white in America, Oregon has you covered. After a group of armed lunatics in rural Oregon seized a federal wildlife building, the FBI announced Sunday that it's working to bring a "peaceful" end to the "situation."

"I don't know what I was smoking in June, but it's August now. I've bonded with my kids until we can't bond anymore, and I'm thisclose to booking a one-way ticket to anywhere but here. I love my kids dearly, but I appreciate them even more when I have time to myself, too. I think that's called balance, and I'm pretty sure it's a good thing."

SB 277, now known as California state law, strips parents of their right to informed consent while claiming that it's for their own good. Proponents of the law claim that it is necessary to mandate vaccinations in order to preserve herd immunity and to prevent a public health crisis. That is simply not the case.

As a former English lit major and long-time editor, I've met my share of linguistics pedants. Today is not their day. But for everyone else who appreciates the natural evolution of language, rejoice! Singular "they" was just named 2015's Word of the Year.

ICYMI, today marks the first official day of the seasonal return of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte.

Every parent is afraid of something happening to their children; that comes with the territory. When we allow our fears to prevent our children from following their dreams, however, we do them a disservice.

Former President Jimmy Carter announced that his most recent scans showed no evidence of cancer, and he may owe his rapid response to science.