Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Viral Photo Declares "Peace On Earth" With Bound And Gagged Women

Nothing says "Peace On Earth" like women bound and gagged, am I right? Believe it or not, that's exactly the premise behind a family's Christmas card gone horribly awry.

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Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

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Writer Caissie St. Onge Nails The Problem With Diets In Facebook Post

While St. Onge is best known for writing for funny folks like Letterman and Rosie, her FB post this morning about weight and weight loss was as authentic as it gets.

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The New Holderness Family's Thanksgiving Video Doesn't Suck

If you don't know who the Holderness family is and have somehow managed to miss their series of painfully awkward viral videos, congratulations! You haven't missed much.

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Feminist Icon Camille Paglia Calls Taylor Swift A "Nazi Barbie"

Paglia...suggested that the problem with women’s lives is that career women now lack the multigenerational shared approach to domestic bliss. Apparently, women wouldn’t need friends and silly socializing if they all just went back to the kitchen and did more women’s work.

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When Hackers Target Ashley Madison, Families Suffer

". . . a couple of people posted the nastiest sex ad they could come up with to Craigslist and published all of the responses, including pictures, email addresses, etc. Unfortunately, my ex husband was dumb enough to use a fake email address but still send this "woman" multiple pictures of himself that included both his face and his dick. It was very obvious to everyone concerned that my husband was soliciting nasty sex online."

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Billboard Tweets (Then Deletes) Sexualizing Comment About Toddler North West

Billboard magazine proved that it's never too early to start sexualizing young girls when they tweeted a picture of two-year-old North West (daughter of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West) sucking on a lollipop with the caption, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Ugh.

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Rachel and her family

What Rachel Dolezal Teaches Us About Mental Illness

What initially broke as a story of possibly fraudulent misrepresentation by a public figure quickly morphed into the downfall of a highly disturbed and probably mentally ill woman.

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Frozen Embryos Don't Have Rights, Women Do 

"It's simple, really. If you can muddy the waters enough, and espouse concern for the rights of those poor defenseless embryos enough, what should be a simple statement about the rights of women to make choices for their own bodies becomes, instead, a convoluted argument around viability and fetal stages that puts the presumed "rights" of fetuses on an equal footing with the actual rights of adult women."

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Why I'm Giving Your Teenagers Condoms

"However, if you've ever met a teenager, you know that roughly 75% of them will never willingly walk into the school nurse's office and ask about birth control. But, even if they do, they still won't necessarily know which form is best for them, and they certainly won't be given the advice they need to dump that player and move on already. That's where us parents come in. Except, of course, that half of our kids won't talk to us about the ins and outs of sex and relationships."

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