Jody Allard

Before you run to the bathroom to puke out your human DNA containing hot dog while sobbing over delicious bacon, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

It’s been three years since I divorced my mother. The reasons are long and complicated, yet also short and simple. My mother is not capable of mothering anyone, and I am healthier and happier without her.

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

Filmmaker and activist Michael Moore launched a campaign against racism yesterday by holding a sign that proclaimed "We Are All Muslim" in front of Trump Tower.

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.

". . . a couple of people posted the nastiest sex ad they could come up with to Craigslist and published all of the responses, including pictures, email addresses, etc. Unfortunately, my ex husband was dumb enough to use a fake email address but still send this "woman" multiple pictures of himself that included both his face and his dick. It was very obvious to everyone concerned that my husband was soliciting nasty sex online."

If you lay awake at night praying for new episodes of your favorite childhood TV shows, your prayers may soon be answered. Nickelodeon confirmed that it is considering re-boots of its most beloved shows from the 80s and 90s.

"However, if you've ever met a teenager, you know that roughly 75% of them will never willingly walk into the school nurse's office and ask about birth control. But, even if they do, they still won't necessarily know which form is best for them, and they certainly won't be given the advice they need to dump that player and move on already. That's where us parents come in. Except, of course, that half of our kids won't talk to us about the ins and outs of sex and relationships."

You're 15 years old now. You're not a little girl anymore—even though you wish you were, just a little bit.

SB 277, now known as California state law, strips parents of their right to informed consent while claiming that it's for their own good. Proponents of the law claim that it is necessary to mandate vaccinations in order to preserve herd immunity and to prevent a public health crisis. That is simply not the case.