Erin McKelle

Even though I've suffered from clinical depression ever since I was 15 years old, my depressive episodes have a lot more at stake as I’ve gotten older, especially since I’m dependent on my own productivity in order to survive.

One reality TV franchise people often point to when talking about misogyny in the media is The Real Housewives. However, I believe that many aspects of The Real Housewives make it a feminist franchise.

I’m adopted. It’s one of those things that has been a major force in shaping my identity, but that’s hard to talk about authentically almost anywhere.

I propose going back to basics, back to what self-care is supposed to be about. Instead of this new flashy and expensive self-care movement.

I’ve said I was “good,” “fine,” or “doing well” after crying for hours, lying in bed all day with no motivation, and even experiencing suicidal ideation. My worst days are when the temptation to mask my pain with a smile is the strongest.

We’ve been telling researchers, doctors, and anyone who will listen that we’re not satisfied with the birth control pill because of its side effects for years, but maybe this latest study from Sweden will make them actually listen.

I began to see my mental health go completely downhill. This led me to seek out a psychiatrist, who raised an interesting concern: she thought my birth control was messing with my depression. It’s not like I hadn’t been aware of the link between hormonal contraception and depression before, but it never occurred to me that these two personal realities could be connected.

I decided to experiment. I would set my alarm and get up at 6 AM (or earlier) for seven days straight, no matter what.

Just like you might find it difficult to fly while fat, going to the gym can also be a terrible experience to endure while fat. This is one of my favorite points to make when people justify their fatphobia with “I’m just concerned about their health.”

My fears of dependence were so potent that I decided to quit meds for good. Though I didn’t just throw away mental healthcare, mind you, since I had been, and planned on continuing to go, to weekly therapy sessions. I wanted to find other ways to manage my mental illness without popping pills on the daily.