Erin McKelle

As I write this, it’s the eve of my 21st birthday, or the last step in my journey to adulthood. So. Many. Feels. I’m going to give you a list of the 21 things I’ve learned before turning 21, to look back at what I’ve learned and done so far:

I am a recovering serial dater who is now single and actually enjoying it.

We’re now living in an age where online dating is no longer taboo, which means more people are going online to pursue finding a romantic partner than ever before. I've met almost all of my dating partners through the Internet, and through the courting process, profile creation, and setting up of the first IRL date, I’ve learned a lot about how to date online.

I firmly believe that every person on the planet could benefit from therapy. I myself have been going to therapy every week for about four years and don't plan on stopping.

I’m adopted. It’s one of those things that has been a major force in shaping my identity, but that’s hard to talk about authentically almost anywhere.

You may have heard "you have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you,” and I’m here to say that this rule is really true! Self-love is essential for creating any healthy (emphasis on healthy), sustainable relationship with another person or people.

We hear all the time how hookup culture is ruining the lives of young people everywhere, that we're doomed to never marry and to live in sin for the rest of our days. But is the hype around our generation's love of casual sex real? Or are most of us actually settling down after we sow our wild oats?

I propose going back to basics, back to what self-care is supposed to be about. Instead of this new flashy and expensive self-care movement.

Just like you might find it difficult to fly while fat, going to the gym can also be a terrible experience to endure while fat. This is one of my favorite points to make when people justify their fatphobia with “I’m just concerned about their health.”

When you think of astrology, what first comes to mind? Is it your sun sign, the weekly horoscopes you see in newspapers, or a wonky new-agey scam? If you’re in the latter group, I’m here to tell you that astrology is not a crock of you-know-what, but actually has some historical merit to its practice.