Erin McKelle

This year I’m going into the holiday season with a self-care game plan, so that I’ll be ready when the holiday blues come around. I think that probably more people get the holiday blues than you would think, since this isn’t an issue that’s often talked about openly.

I know it’s a lot more complicated than just one day declaring, “Fuck it, I’m done dieting!” Just like we can easily make resolutions for ourselves to lose weight, we can just as easily resolve to love our bodies as they are, and quietly fall flat on our goal.

Many books in the self-help genre are either hokey or just plain scams. However, thanks to my perseverance and voracious reading, I've discovered there are self-help books out there that can transform your life and thinking in powerful ways and I’ve rounded up a list of my 5 all-time faves.

I’m adopted. It’s one of those things that has been a major force in shaping my identity, but that’s hard to talk about authentically almost anywhere.

My fears of dependence were so potent that I decided to quit meds for good. Though I didn’t just throw away mental healthcare, mind you, since I had been, and planned on continuing to go, to weekly therapy sessions. I wanted to find other ways to manage my mental illness without popping pills on the daily.

Just like you might find it difficult to fly while fat, going to the gym can also be a terrible experience to endure while fat. This is one of my favorite points to make when people justify their fatphobia with “I’m just concerned about their health.”

I feel like indirect communication is a common thread amongst women. Since women are socially conditioned to not make a fuss, ruffle any feathers or have permission to speak our minds, indirect communication becomes inevitable. Or conversely, if we communicate directly, we’re often labeled in a negative manner, like bitch.

As I write this, it’s the eve of my 21st birthday, or the last step in my journey to adulthood. So. Many. Feels. I’m going to give you a list of the 21 things I’ve learned before turning 21, to look back at what I’ve learned and done so far:

Imagine you just went out with someone that you like, and have been out with a few times, but that you’re still not quite sure where things are heading with. Now, imagine that they call you to ask you if you would like to join them at a birthday party on Saturday, for one of their good friends whom they’d like you to meet. What’s your reaction? Are you jumping at the chance to get closer to their inner circle, already preparing your excuse for why you can’t attend, or do you land somewhere in between?

[CN: sexual assault] No more sex — no touching, fondling… Nada. I was done. I had a new mission: to heal.