Erin McKelle

Have the post-holiday engagement "forever-alone" blues? Here's how to create the relationship of your dreams.

There’s nothing worse than taking a pregnancy test when you don’t want to be pregnant.

It’s especially bad when you don’t know who the father is.

Last year, this is the exact situation I found myself in: 23, single, not on contraception, and with a late period. I was nothing short of panicked.

After finding the least expensive test that CVS carried (by the way, can we talk about how expensive pregnancy tests are?!), I went home to find out my fate. After locking myself in the bathroom, I turned the shower on to drown out the noise of my thoughts. I waited five minutes and then peered at the stick, leaning as far away from the sink as possible in case it showed two lines.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw one clear line on the screen.

I quickly tossed the test in the trash, turned off the shower, and hopped in bed with a bottle of cabernet.

Here are a few ways you can do some inventory on your own behaviors and start dealing with addiction in a healing way.

For long time, I wondered why the people I dated, people I was friends with, and jobs I was taking on were temporary or weren't ever interested in a long-term commitment. It seemed like every opportunity I had was for a short-term assignment or position, every person I liked only wanted to date casually.

As I write this, it’s the eve of my 21st birthday, or the last step in my journey to adulthood. So. Many. Feels. I’m going to give you a list of the 21 things I’ve learned before turning 21, to look back at what I’ve learned and done so far:

I’m adopted. It’s one of those things that has been a major force in shaping my identity, but that’s hard to talk about authentically almost anywhere.

This year I’m going into the holiday season with a self-care game plan, so that I’ll be ready when the holiday blues come around. I think that probably more people get the holiday blues than you would think, since this isn’t an issue that’s often talked about openly.

You may have heard "you have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you,” and I’m here to say that this rule is really true! Self-love is essential for creating any healthy (emphasis on healthy), sustainable relationship with another person or people.

Staying in the present moment has been shown to have many positive benefits for your health and well-being, so it's no surprise that mindfulness has become such a popular practice.

Imagine you just went out with someone that you like, and have been out with a few times, but that you’re still not quite sure where things are heading with. Now, imagine that they call you to ask you if you would like to join them at a birthday party on Saturday, for one of their good friends whom they’d like you to meet. What’s your reaction? Are you jumping at the chance to get closer to their inner circle, already preparing your excuse for why you can’t attend, or do you land somewhere in between?