Joni Edelman

So you fed your baby some formula instead of breast milk. His future is not shot. Really. It's not—and The Guilt serves no one.

When I was little, any time I got an insect bite or stubbed my toe, I had to ask my mom, “Am I going to die? If I was going to die from this, I’d already be dead — right?” I also had a 30-minute prayer that I needed to say at each meal or else everyone would be poisoned and die. And corners. I had to check all of them before I went to bed.

If you decide pit or leg hair isn't a big deal, then bam! It's not a big deal.

I did The Today Show, and after that spent 45 minutes talking to Inside Edition. If you're confused, imagine how I felt.

As a stay-at-home mom, I've made plenty of sacrifices. Where are my accolades?

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

No, Bill Cosby isn't my dad. But he was like one to me growing up.

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

At certain points in the month I definitely feel worse about my body. I'm much less confident and more prone to eating the wrong things, and not doing physical exercise.

Can we just take a pause to consider all of the total fucking bullshit to which we subject ourselves?