Joni Edelman

I guess the point of a spiritual awakening is just that; if you were already awake, you wouldn’t need a moment that was self-defining. You’d already be defined.

The FDA has approved a new drug for banishing double chins . . . it's ACID.

Can we just take a pause to consider all of the total fucking bullshit to which we subject ourselves?

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

As long as I can remember having paid attention to the media, I can remember a woman's weight—or body in general—being a news story.

As a stay-at-home mom, I've made plenty of sacrifices. Where are my accolades?

Look, I'm not saying McDonald's did this themselves, I'm just saying, a lot of the people that work there probably agree.

Sam: The first time you mentioned that you have five kids I was like WHAT THE ACTUAL. FIVE HUMANS. FIVE HUMANS CAME OUT OF YOU. Like, not at the same time, but they came out and like, that sounds painful and scary WHY DID YOU DO THAT??

Good god, where will I ever find someone who will love me in such a pitiful condition?

"Food isn't the enemy –– calling it the enemy is the enemy."