Joni Edelman

1. All vaginas are good vaginas.

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

Silly me, I thought the darn thing took care of itself. Little did I know I was sorely mistaken and had a vagina complex.

And what’s better than eggs? Eggs direct from the cloaca of your own chicken.

When I had my first child, I couldn't have prepared for the way it would make me feel.

If you're brave enough to take the DIY Brazilian plunge, these tips are a must-read. As in, tip #6: It hurts, but not more than having a baby. Good to know.

At certain points in the month I definitely feel worse about my body. I'm much less confident and more prone to eating the wrong things, and not doing physical exercise.

Now that I've embarked upon the decade I once considered "old," there are a few things I'd like my 20 (and 30) year-old self to know.