Sandy Jorgenson

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Griping about adulting is a fun thing that we like to do, I know.

Based on my experience, I can tell you with confidence that there exists a list of perfectly reasonable ways to cope with that endless stream of bullshit that your kids are pumping out on the regular. None of this stuff is going to bring you the blessed satisfaction that comes with screaming out all your favorite swear words while you tear off your clothing in a fit of rage and flush yourself down the toilet, but until such a time arises, this list will at least provide some healthy alternatives to deep-diving through your city’s sewer system when you need relief most.

Whoever is responsible for coining the term “terrible twos” and leaving the entirety of the threes out of the equation is sitting at the very top of my sh*t list. Because a little warning would’ve been nice.

Everybody who’s a parent can attest to the fact that the lives they once knew are far behind them.

Why are people so mean?

Death, we know because it’s drilled into us from an early age, is a natural part of life.

You’d have a hell of a time if you ever dared to crawl through the recesses of a first-time mother’s brain.

...[O]ur very responsibility is to equip them with everything they need before we shove them out of the nest and watch their wings spread far and wide... But what, then, is left for us?