Winona Dimeo-Ediger

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

5. You start feeling insecure about the distinct lack of rappers in your social circle.

Here are a few tips for managing a major style transition without going bankrupt/insane.

"Cute dress!" "This? I literally found it in a dumpster behind Baja Fresh."

When you’re shopping for shoes for a fancy event, it’s easy to assume that a super high heel is required for a shoe to feel dressed up enough, but that’s not necessarily the case. I’m happy to report that “sensible shoes” and “cute shoes” are not mutually exclusive terms.

The thing is, we soak in these body-judging lessons from a very young age, before we even know how damaging they are. Some of the messages are implicit, like when we see a fat girl getting made fun of on the playground (or, for many of us, when we are the fat girl getting made fun of on the playground) and learn that being fat is not just wrong, it’s a punishable offense.

6. You would never DREAM of talking on your phone during a transaction, because you know from experience how uniquely dehumanizing and soul-crushing it is to try to engage with someone who is chatting idly with their sister and not making eye contact with you.

...canning stuff is the best. It makes you feel like a badass pioneer woman preparing for the Oregon Trail except in this scenario you’re making orange basil marmalade for brunches rather than sustenance and you have unlimited access to a shower.

I mean, just look at the name: BLANKET SWEATERS. Wearing a blanket in public is not only a socially acceptable thing to do now, it’s downright trendy.

Our resident aesthetic ace offers fashion advice to a "professorial punk femme."