Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Our resident aesthetic ace offers fashion advice to a "professorial punk femme."

If you give a White girl a pumpkin spice latte, she’s going to ask for a gluten-free vegan apple spice muffin.

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

For example, if you’re having gastrointenstinal distress, resist the urge to hashtag it with something generic like #diarrheacramps. Instead, include your first and last name and the date to make it your own: #LynnSmithDiarrheaCrampsFebruary2016.

Ever had an imagined conversation with optimism? Yeah, me too.

Pinterest: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
Me: Wait, so maybe I should carry an umbrella, in case it rains and I want to dance?

Also worth considering: Beyonce on vacation, Prince George, your mom in the '70s.

One of the best things that happened when I downsized my wardrobe was that I finally felt like my clothes were working for me, not vice versa. I wasn’t constantly stressed about the mess in my bedroom from clothes that didn’t fit in the dresser. I no longer had daily freakouts about what to wear while staring at an overstuffed closet. I had a nice selection of clothes that served me well.

From personal insecurity to medical issues to office dress codes, summer months don’t always translate to open toe shoes. Here are a few summer shoe options that are stylish, comfortable, and seasonally appropriate, all without showing any toe.

"I’ve been on three rollercoasters in my life. I hated every second of all of them."