Put Away That Selfie Stick, Selfies Now Kill More People Than Sharks

Love them or hate them –– and I KNOW you've got an opinion –– selfies are here to stay. What you might not know is that you are more likely to DIE while taking a selfie than in a shark attack, according to a new report.

Granted, it's pretty damn rare to die in either way. Only 12 people have died in accidents involving selfies this year, while six or eight people have died in shark attacks (depending on whether you include an attack that could be considered "provoked" or a guy who may just have been noshed on after he died, which really can't be labeled an "attack"). Still, that means that your odds of dying while trying to capture that perfect selfie to post on Instagram may be nearly DOUBLE your odds of dying via a shark attack.

The good news is that this may make people reconsider buying that selfie stick (seriously, just stop). The bad news is that all of my irrational fears about sharks (including my childhood certainty that there were sharks that could swim up into my bathtub through the drain to feast on me like fucking Jaws) and general refusal to swim in large bodies of water, including lakes, even though I KNOW that sharks don't live in lakes, now seem even more absurd.

Note to Hollywood: It's obviously time for a horror movie featuring a deranged, murderous selfie stick. Cue the Jaws music.

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