Virgie Tovar

Truthfully, I really want to be able to walk into every new interaction with the hope — the expectation — that everyone knows how to treat everyone else with full humanity. But the culture’s gonna have to do a lot better before I emotionally disarm. Until then, it’s probably a good idea to expect pursed lips and side eye from me.

Like many women and girls, I was taught that confidence is a commodity that we can use to attain romantic and sexual attention from men. We spend a lot of money and energy trying to capture that elusive sense that we are worth a damn. But for me, healing has become my primary focus and it has led to major shifts in my sense of self, more clarity about what I need, and a deeper relationship to my desire.

So, recently I started dipping my toe back into the poisonous dump site that is straight dating. Deep breath.

Last week I was sitting anywhere between nineteen and thirty-seven feet from Kevin Bacon.

The other day I was having coffee and ice cream with my friend. We were talking about who we follow online.

Two weeks ago, I was in West Lafayette, Indiana. I flew into Chicago at around midnight, and I was picked up by new friend and hostess, Mel.

This week in Babecamp we were talking about Sarai Walker’s novel Dietland.

As much as I love the idea of family, I actually like not being married, and I actually like not being a mother right now.