Get it. Courtesy of, Facebook
Maybe you hate baseball. And though you've tried to avoid 'Murica's favorite pastime during the madness that is the World Series, the manic red stitching has found its way in front of your eyes (never mind the jarring bright orange of the Giants' jerseys, OH MY).
Even if this is you, admit it: Hunter Pence. is. everything. Everything. EVERYTHING!
Okay, in all seriousness—Pence is one cool cat. So cool, in fact, that we can't help but feel this overwhelming, inexplicable crush on him. And his wild eyes. Oh, and what about those crazy curls? But let's not objectify the man (I mean, we hate it when dudes do it to us). Pence's, uh, unusual sexiness is also complemented by his utter awesomeness. What makes him so crushable, the ultimate stud of the World Series? Let us count the ways!
1. He Is King Of The Memes
Try this: Google "Hunter Pence memes." Wait one second. Laugh forever. Okay, but really, Pence had made a name for himself in having a good sense of humor about these things. If you check out his Twitter feed, Pence accepts the internet jokes time after time with a rad sense of humor.
— Hunter Pence (@hunterpence) October 26, 2014
Even Pence's girlfriend joins the fun—I mean, I think we can all agree that couples who don't take each other too seriously are the best party guests.
2. His Form Is Weird, But He Rocks At Baseball
Ahhhh, we are all but unique, beautiful snowflakes—every one of us. Except not really. Sorry not sorry. Some of us may aspire to be beautiful weirdos, but often many of us are just . . . weirdos. Pence, though, is a breed of beautiful weird—the kind that inexplicably works despite its inherent oddness. What do we mean? Even if you don't understand the complexities of proper athletic form in baseball (I sure don't), you can easily see that Pence isn't adhering to it:
But Pence is really good. With his wacky swing (do his elbows work?), Pence has managed to rack up a batting average of .284 over the course of his career. To compare, that's not far behind the legendary Barry Bonds at .298—which begs the question: Could Pence beat this some day?
Factoid: Pence revealed that he was diagnosed with Scheuermann's Disease, which prevents full flexibility in the upper part of his spine. Despite this setback, Pence has rocked the game with his odd ways.
3. He Has Enthusiasm For Days
At the end of the day, your team can't win every game. (You knew this, right?) Regardless, Pence oozes an extreme level of enthusiasm we'd be likely to witness a basic bitch displaying at a pumpkin spice latte giveaway contest. His "yes" chant has inspired countless bar cheers and poster making (as well as bedroom screams—get your head out of the gutter, I was talking about finding lost matching socks). Besides leading fans, Pence is known for doing silly things on the field and riding a scooter around San Francisco. Even
hotter nicer, Pence is reportedly selling this famous scooter to raise money for Make-A-Wish.
— Hunter Pence (@hunterpence) October 9, 2014
But really, these are the qualities that make sports (and players) resonate with fans. Just as our fave teams can't win every game, things don't always go our way. Amidst debt, deaths, arguments, breakups (are you crying yet?), cut backs and so on we need something to make us smile. Even when our team doesn't win, players like Pence give us something to believe in—whatever the circumstances. Bonding over awesome swings and silly chants evokes that feeling of community that many often feel is lost. High-fiving a stranger on the street rocking the same team colors as you is invigorating.
For this, I will be forever grateful for players like Pence.