Eliana Osborn

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

It is hard to find any real numbers about how many people do "direct sales" or how much money they make. The web is full of either big promises or pissed-off former sellers. What I do know, from bazillions of friends and family, is that making much more than pocket money means selling like a real job. Yes, it might be more flexible, but there’s no magic formula.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.