Eliana Osborn

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

I’m not broken by this therapy failure. Jane wasn't the person to help me at this point of my life. Someone else WILL be.