Eliana Osborn

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

1. Write a damn letter.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.