Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

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Sharknadoooo!

5 Life Lessons Learned From Watching All Three Sharknado Movies

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

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How much do these tests REALLY tell us?

Standardized Tests: Intelligence Indicator? Load Of Crap? Worth The Stress?

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

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Oh Paige, you just get me...

The People I Fell In Love With While Pregnant

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

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All kinds of students at all kinds of schools are unable to make ends meet.

Starving Doesn't Make You Smarter: A Case For Food Pantries On College Campuses

A new, exciting trend is to have food pantries for college students. I talked to an AmeriCorps volunteer running one of these centers and she was matter-of-fact about the need — and how little is being done. Today’s college students may be young and single, living la vida loca. But more and more are what we call ‘nontraditional’: slightly older, employed full-time (or close to it), supporting a family, a veteran, etc.

Hunger for nontraditional students doesn’t mean surviving on ramen: It means they are not the only person in the household who's in need.

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Perhaps not this dramatic. Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Elizabeth_Taylor_in_Cleopatra#/media/File:1963_Cleopatra_trailer_screenshot_(11).jpg">Wikimedia</a>

Dear World: Should I Get Permanent Eyeliner?

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

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This is the Heimlich, not a hug.

Important Adult Things You Should Learn To Do In 2016

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

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"There's nothing strange nor mysterious about menstruation." Preach, Disney.

Annie Ruined Everything: The Best/Worst Menstruation Films Of Yesteryear

In this film, we got to walk backstage with the young Broadway actress currently playing Annie. She explained the rules for taking on the role: Once a girl started her period, she couldn’t be Annie.

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