Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

I want to make the kids turn off their screens as I would in regular life back on the ground, but it seems like this is not the time to stick to rules or try for a parenting victory.

Screen Time Got My Family Through An 18-Hour Flight. I Regret Nothing.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

Read...
1:54 PM: Stephanie has the softest hands in the universe.

Massage Therapy: A Minute-By-Minute Account

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

Read...
This is the Heimlich, not a hug.

Important Adult Things You Should Learn To Do In 2016

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

Read...
There is no one activity undertaken every single day that will guarantee a healthy, non-annoying, responsible child. Image: Thinkstock.

7000 Days Of Parenting Is 'All' You Have — But Everything's Going To Be Fine, I Promise.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

Read...
All kinds of students at all kinds of schools are unable to make ends meet.

Starving Doesn't Make You Smarter: A Case For Food Pantries On College Campuses

A new, exciting trend is to have food pantries for college students. I talked to an AmeriCorps volunteer running one of these centers and she was matter-of-fact about the need — and how little is being done. Today’s college students may be young and single, living la vida loca. But more and more are what we call ‘nontraditional’: slightly older, employed full-time (or close to it), supporting a family, a veteran, etc.

Hunger for nontraditional students doesn’t mean surviving on ramen: It means they are not the only person in the household who's in need.

Read...
Did you shower today? You've already started on one.

Here Are Some Realistic New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Read...
I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Image: Thinkstock.

A Letter To A Mom Friend Heading To Rehab

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

Read...
I am telling the truth. Aren’t I?

That Time I Took A Lie Detector Test

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

Read...
Oh Paige, you just get me...

The People I Fell In Love With While Pregnant

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Read...