Eliana Osborn

...But not in the way you'd think.

"Sharknado 3" has an especially unique moment when a human baby is born by being cut out of the side of a shark. Don’t ask questions, there’s nothing to explain.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!