Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Image: Thinkstock.

A Letter To A Mom Friend Heading To Rehab

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

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Noticing a bit of a theme here...

There's A Serious Diversity Problem In Higher Education

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

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The easiest pets of all.

How To Choose The Right Pet For Your Particular Level Of Laziness

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

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Notice how young she is...

Things I Can't Do Now That I'm Nearly 40

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

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There is no one activity undertaken every single day that will guarantee a healthy, non-annoying, responsible child. Image: Thinkstock.

7000 Days Of Parenting Is 'All' You Have — But Everything's Going To Be Fine, I Promise.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

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"I felt good."

Running Literally Saved My Life

...But not in the way you'd think.

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Did you shower today? You've already started on one.

Here Are Some Realistic New Year's Resolutions

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

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I need an updated mental picture.

Lost Love: When You Can't Find Your Ex On The Internet

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

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I am telling the truth. Aren’t I?

That Time I Took A Lie Detector Test

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

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