Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Noticing a bit of a theme here...

There's A Serious Diversity Problem In Higher Education

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

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The author and her sister.

The Strange, Strong Bond of Sisterhood

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

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If he were an asshole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. Image: Thinkstock.

When Your Children's Grandpa Is A Jerk, How Do You Keep Your Cool?

If he were an a--hole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. He’s good with them. He’s his best self. It makes me alternately happy and heartbroken.

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The Bromance. AKA being a human being with close friendships.

Breaking News: Science Proves Bromances Are Crucial To Men's Happiness

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

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Anyone can do amazing work when one room takes 36 months. I suspect the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was painted in less time.

Remodeling Your Bathroom (And Your Relationship)

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

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Are you serious?

Schools Are Not Sexism-Free

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

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I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

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Image: Tumblr (of course)

An Open Letter To The Snotty Bag Boy At My Local Grocery Store

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

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Never leave him alone — in the pool, the bath, anything. Image: Thinkstock.

I Won't Hide My Son's Epilepsy, Even If My Husband Disagrees With This Approach

My husband is worried about stigma, about Owen feeling different, about epilepsy being part of his identity. Those are sweet concerns, really. And I get it — I love the kid too. I’d never want to make his life harder in any way.

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