Eliana Osborn

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

My Life on the Road (or MLR) is not what I expected...the idea of not waiting for experience to come to you permeates the book.

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.