Eliana Osborn

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

They were horrible.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

...But not in the way you'd think.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

My Life on the Road (or MLR) is not what I expected...the idea of not waiting for experience to come to you permeates the book.

After years in apartments that should have been condemned, even these sad restroom facilities were vast improvements. And so we stayed, the husband and I, vaguely embarrassed when guests stayed over and commented on the bordello vibe of the bathroom.

Then we had a kid. No working bathtub suddenly seemed like a big deal. And the functional bathroom spaces weren’t places you’d want to hang out. There’s a lot of bathroom time once you’ve got tiny humans. (You’ve been warned.)

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.