Erin Khar

As NICU Awareness Month comes to a close, I wanted to share my experience with what it’s like when you bring that baby home from the NICU.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to…Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

"Because you acted like a stupid bitch." That’s what it says on the paper, the tiny piece of paper, or maybe envelope or napkin that I found in the box of old letters I keep stashed in my closet. I stare at the words and read them out loud, in hopes that the action will shake loose the memory. Nothing.

I met a girl on Tinder. Our first date went pretty well. We hit it off. We’ve had 2 more dates since, including spending a day in the park and grabbing dinner and most recently watching a movie/fooling around.

“This might be a little uncomfortable,” my doctor said. I put my headphones in and clutched my iPhone, turning the volume up on my white noise app, and braced myself for another D&C.

When I found out I was pregnant, I reluctantly made the choice to stay clean. I doubted my decision (both to have this baby and to stay sober) the entire pregnancy and was unsure of how I would feel or what I would do when my child was born. Everyone around me was unsure, too. My parents discussed contingency plans with my son’s father for when — not if — I relapsed. But I didn't.

I am here to tell you to stop judging other people’s outsides and making value judgments on their insides. Depression doesn't care but you should!

I thought dating was supposed to get easier as I got older! I have a close friend and here has definitely been some attraction (well on my part for sure...and his too somewhat) over the years.

Dear Erin, OK, I am sure I’m going to catch hell for this, but I created a fake profile on Tinder. I mean, the profile isn’t completely fake, but the pictures are.

Dear Erin,

I need to know if I am being a bad friend. I have a good friend, who is also my roommate; she has been having a lot of issues with the guy she’s seeing. And I mean A LOT of issues. Whenever we are both home, that’s all I hear about.

In the beginning, I didn’t mind listening and giving advice to her. However, it’s getting to the point where I am flat-out annoyed and frustrated, because she is constantly asking me for advice about THE SAME THING!