Erin Khar

"Because you acted like a stupid bitch." That’s what it says on the paper, the tiny piece of paper, or maybe envelope or napkin that I found in the box of old letters I keep stashed in my closet. I stare at the words and read them out loud, in hopes that the action will shake loose the memory. Nothing.

I’ve been in a lesbian relationship for two years. The first six months were amazing. After that, she began pulling away from me in small ways. At first, she gave me fewer compliments. Then, we started having sex less, going out together less, in general spending less time together.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anyt

I’m a 35-year-old widower with two little girls to look after. It has now been a little over two years since my wife died. Quite suddenly, since last winter, I began having multiple very erotic dreams, always about my late wife. All the medical data seems pointed towards widowers losing their sex drive. Mine has suddenly kicked into over drive.

I recently became involved with a man who is significantly younger than I am. I feel foolish, but at the same time, I know love comes in many different forms. I shouldn't second-guess it; I should just enjoy the ride.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

Q.

Hi Erin,

So this one's a little complicated, and I’m not really sure how to explain it without it sounding insane.

My partner and I have been together on and off since we were teenagers, which is now well over half a decade. I love him, and I think that where we are now, I’m probably going to end up with him permanently. This terrifies me.

Also, in my experience, a little cold never stopped me (or anyone I was dating who was interested in me) from going out with someone I liked. Maybe that’s socially irresponsible, in terms of exposing others to germs, but it’s true! (Unless we are talking stomach flu/food poisoning etc. because that’s just gross.)

My only concern is, how can I please her sexually while still avoiding contracting herpes myself?

He’s pretty much exactly the kind of guy with whom I would want a long-term relationship. At least, that’s how I was feeling until yesterday, when he posted a picture of himself and some girl on Instagram, saying that he was so happy to be in love and celebrating his TWO-YEAR ANNIVERSARY with her!

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.