Erin Khar

As I began to heal, I realized that I had neglected to fully appreciate the grief those closest to me carried. I’m talking about my husband. And my son. And our parents. And our closest friends. Their bereavement was undeniable, yet it took me a moment to acknowledge that it was there.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to…Ask Erin!

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to…Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

When you mumble, I think you don’t really care about what you have to say or I’m not important enough to hear you. Is it shyness? Is it laziness? Is it apathy? Have you forgotten how to speak properly because of your reliance on texting? Whatever it is, it has to STOP. Low-talkers, I’m looking at you, too.

My best friend is married and her and her husband are moving into a new house. Now here’s the thing: My best friend wants me to move in with them, and so does her husband, to help with expenses and because they know I want to get out of my living situation.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

On Sunday, my husband was in the shower. He left his phone on our bed, which he never does. It lit up with a text from “S.” That’s the name that popped up, “S.” Something about it bothered me. Before I had time to think about it, I was typing in his password, which he has never changed, and read the text which was explicit and made it clear that this person, S, had not only seen my husband’s penis, but had done things with it.

"Because you acted like a stupid bitch." That’s what it says on the paper, the tiny piece of paper, or maybe envelope or napkin that I found in the box of old letters I keep stashed in my closet. I stare at the words and read them out loud, in hopes that the action will shake loose the memory. Nothing.

I’m in my early 20s and he’s in his 40s. He’s my 6-year-old brother’s best friend’s father. He’s old enough to be my dad too, actually. He’s got four kids — all with different moms (one who is my age).