Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

The lies would keep me up at night, gnawing at the place inside me where I felt my baby should be.

I Hid My Miscarriage From My Son & Pretended I Was Still Pregnant

How was I supposed to tell my son, who was already preoccupied and frightened by the idea of death, that his new little brother or sister was gone, that I'd had a miscarriage? I didn't know. So I lied.

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I didn’t realize how crucial my late teens and early twenties were for forming deep and lasting female friendships to get me through the gritty parts of life. Image: Thinkstock.

The Things I Missed Out On Because I Got Married As A Teenager

I was constantly on the defense, prepared to fight for my young love against those who thought I wasn’t ready for marriage. It pains me to say it, but in a way, they were right after all. There were things I was missing out on by marrying young, things I didn’t even realize I was missing until it was too late.

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Third Child Party Favors: My favor to you was providing booze and grilled meats. Image: Thinkstock.

To My Third Son On His First Birthday: I'm Sorry

My first child’s milestones were elaborately marked, photographed, and celebrated with much fanfare... My third child however? Not so much. His first birthday was a much quieter affair — if it could be called an affair at all.

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I wish that people understood that it’s never OK to comment on a mother’s age — young or old. Because the judgmental connotation is always there, no matter how innocent the intent.

Is It Ever Okay To Comment On A Mother's Age?

The insecurities about my age pushed me over the edge, making me work myself to the bone trying to be what I thought society would deem as a “good mom.” So I wish people understood that it’s never OK to comment on a mother’s age — young or old. Because the judgmental connotation is always there, no matter how innocent the intent.

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image credit: Thinkstock

Me, My Parents, Fox News, And A Screaming Match — Being An Adult Is Complicated

Becoming an adult didn’t magically open me up to their world and their psyche as I thought it would. Even having children of my own did little to unravel the mystery of my parents, because I wasn’t really interested in exploring honestly. I have always been concerned with who my parents were in relation to me, not who they were on their own.

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"I had to accept that this journey was entirely different than anything that had come before."

What Happens When You Get Pregnant After Postpartum Depression

Getting pregnant after postpartum depression may have stolen a lot from me, but it gave me a lot more.

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Echo chambers of agreement aren't the real world.

The Danger Of Unfriending Your Racist Aunt

I hate some of the things I see my friends and family post on Facebook.

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There is no one who would go to the same lengths to make me smile.

My Mom Will Always Be My Valentine

A breakup, Mom, a cheerleading competition, and Valentine's Day...

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I wasn’t simply an accessory to misogynistic behavior — I was actively participating in it. Image: Thinkstock.

'One Of The Guys': On Cool Girls And Internalized Misogyny

I felt unique in my passion for martial arts, my affinity for Call of Duty, my go-with-the-flow attitude toward boyish adventures. I wanted to be “one of the guys,” while still retaining the distinction of my sexuality. I longed to be the quintessential cool girl — desirable yet approachable. But in retrospect, all that really amounted to internalized misogyny.

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image credit: Gemma Hartley

"Leave Room For Jesus:" Does Purity Culture Devalue Girls?

At Santa Rosa Christian School, dancing was a gateway drug. The gyrating, the slow romantic swaying...

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