Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

I’m here to fight the patriarchy too.

My Traditional Lifestyle Doesn't Make Me Less Of A Feminist

When I was a teenager, I felt very certain that I was not a feminist. I didn’t exactly understand the textbook definition of feminism, but I had a pretty good sense from the negative connotation I had gleaned while growing up in a narrowly Christian setting.

Read...
In a few weeks, I'll be sending my second kid off to school full-time. It's a moment I know I should feel sad about, and believe me, sometimes I do, but mostly I feel guilty because I don't.

I Feel Guilty About Sending My Kids To School

Back when I had my first child, back when he was still a baby, I imagined us moving to the mountains. I was thinking about having three more kids, living off the grid, and soaking up every last bit of their wild childhood. It was a fantasy, through and through.

Read...
I felt a strong need to rise to challenges, because I knew that my dad would expect nothing less from me. Image: Thinkstock.

My Dad Wouldn't Call Himself A Feminist, But I Would.

“Feminism” wasn’t a word I heard much growing up. When I did hear it, I equated it with a historical event, not a work in progress. I thought first-wave feminism was a one-and-done deal, and that all the work necessary for women’s equality had already been accomplished.

Read...
image credit: Thinkstock

Me, My Parents, Fox News, And A Screaming Match — Being An Adult Is Complicated

Becoming an adult didn’t magically open me up to their world and their psyche as I thought it would. Even having children of my own did little to unravel the mystery of my parents, because I wasn’t really interested in exploring honestly. I have always been concerned with who my parents were in relation to me, not who they were on their own.

Read...
I had never had a problem with loving myself, until now. (Image: Thinkstock)

I Am Body Positive, Just Not When It Comes To Myself

But I was yet to face the cold, hard fact that my lack of acceptance for my own body, was really a lack of acceptance for all the bodies I had falsely embraced for so long. Could I really love someone else’s ample stomach, when I could not love my own?

Read...
I wasn’t simply an accessory to misogynistic behavior — I was actively participating in it. Image: Thinkstock.

'One Of The Guys': On Cool Girls And Internalized Misogyny

I felt unique in my passion for martial arts, my affinity for Call of Duty, my go-with-the-flow attitude toward boyish adventures. I wanted to be “one of the guys,” while still retaining the distinction of my sexuality. I longed to be the quintessential cool girl — desirable yet approachable. But in retrospect, all that really amounted to internalized misogyny.

Read...
The lies would keep me up at night, gnawing at the place inside me where I felt my baby should be.

I Hid My Miscarriage From My Son & Pretended I Was Still Pregnant

How was I supposed to tell my son, who was already preoccupied and frightened by the idea of death, that his new little brother or sister was gone, that I'd had a miscarriage? I didn't know. So I lied.

Read...
I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

My Children Cannot Have All Of Me

I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

Read...
Sure, I could probably use a few new life-hacks, but if I can figure out how to love my life in 2017, that will be more than enough.

A Better New Year's Resolution

My resolutions regularly remind me that I don’t think I am enough, just as I am. So this year, instead of focusing on habit changes, I'm more concerned with changing my perspective.

Read...
The perks of growing up include knowing what constitutes stupidity over boys.

10 Things That I've Done For Boys (That I'll NEVER Do Again)

Sometimes, I think back to all the ridiculous things I did for boys when I was younger and cringe.

Read...