Carrie Saum

Easter is rapidly approaching, which means that we all need to get our collective ish together and figure out how to eat all the chocolate.

We saw Hurricane Ike coming for days before it made landfall. It was just two short years post-hurricane Katrina, and all of south Texas and Louisiana were still reeling from her trauma. My husband and I began deliberating if we should stay or go. This is my story of surviving natural disasters.

My BFF has been trying to go easy on the grains lately.

Here are my favorite ways to infuse my body with energy that actually aren't hard and take almost no effort. You don't have to be pregnant to use these ideas, so don't worry. Although, you might make a baby in the process.

No-bake cookies were always one of my favorite potluck eats. These seemed like straight-up magic to me, and I was fascinated by cookies that tasted awesome without baking them. It was potluck sorcery at Hogwarts level.

The Internet has told us that instead of selling our wild summer children to a band of traveling performers, we should go swimming with them instead. At a beach or at the pool, your choice. The Internet also told us that us moms should get over our silly body issues and just play! Have fun!

Whoever Waldorf is, I love their style of salads the most. Fruit, celery, creamy goodness. It's hard to go wrong. I mean, you CAN go wrong, but you shouldn't because that would be silly.

20 years later, it is still an experience that I am actively deconstructing. Why? Because I joined a cult. And maybe have too. If so, here’s how to get out.

This is a recipe for pastry. It's ugly. It will make your kitchen hot in a summer's day. Hotter than the surface of West Texas. Hotter than Jesse Williams scorching the BET Awards with universal truth that we all need to heed and hear. It won't win an award or any baking competitions. But it will win your mouth's undying gratitude.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of internalized toxic beliefs, but it’s a start. Keep fighting the good fight, friends.