Carrie Saum

But seriously, Babywatchers. STOP IT. It’s none of your business. Commenting on a woman’s body in general without any solicitation from the woman is not only unwanted, it’s inappropriate.

Motherhood didn’t pan out the way I anticipated, not even a little bit. It was so much more electrifying and terrifying and amazing than I ever imagined.

Here are my favorite ways to infuse my body with energy that actually aren't hard and take almost no effort. You don't have to be pregnant to use these ideas, so don't worry. Although, you might make a baby in the process.

When I turned 21, my body crashed.

Oh, you say you’re making this for your neighbor who just had a baby and a traumatic birth experience and you want to be an Exceptional Neighbor and bring her post-partum love and healing in a warm, bubbling cake dish? Fantastic. Just make sure to eat half of the cobbler straight out of the pan first, and then transfer it to another pan and pretend it’s meant to look like a pan of berry mush.

This is utter nonsense. There are no good or bad foods so let's stop moralizing food. Let's also stop moralizing money fitness and time!

The truthiest truth, though, is food is expensive. It costs a pretty penny to feed yourself well, with conviction, ethical sourcing, and quality ingredients. It’s OK if you are privileged enough to be able to eat a certain way — there is NO SHAME in that. But please. be careful not to shame those who are unable to eat according to YOUR convictions.

I am not here for your betterment. I am not here to be your dumping ground for all of your thoughts and fears. You are not entitled to my emotional labor!

You feel it. The change.

Okay, so the world feels like it’s ending. I know it does because I have facebook and I read the news and I’m on this planet.