Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

Even though I’m ready to let go the baby weight, the baby weight isn’t ready to let go of me.

I'm Finally Ready To Lose The Baby Weight

To be honest, it’s exhausting, and I am ready to shed this pesky baby weight once and for all. I mean that literally.

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Photo by Boxed Water Is Better on Unsplash

This Mother's Day Let's Stop Treating Emotional Labor Like Extra-Credit Work For Men 

...[M]en get a lot of praise for the “extra-credit work” they do in regards to domestic labor (the actual house cleaning and keeping work) and emotional labor (the invisible work that ensures the rest gets done) no matter what day of the year.

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Bad behavior is not "being" bad (Image Credit: Think Stock)

The ONE Thing We Need To Stop Saying To Our Kids

There is a chasm separating "bad behavior" from "being bad." Our kids have to learn from us that their one-time actions do not permanently define them.

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Keep your pony power, baby. Don’t ever let it go.

Why I Won't Make My Daughter 'Play Nice'

It probably isn’t the sort of parenting moment that is supposed to make a mother proud — the hitting, growling, and otherwise uncivilized decorum... But I couldn’t help feeling a deep satisfaction with my daughter.

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(Image: publicdomainpictures.net)

The Reasons Why I Don't Want My Son To Learn To Read

I know it won't be long until he can read the headlines before I can bury the truth. He will learn to read, and then to suffer. Words will haunt him.

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I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

My Children Cannot Have All Of Me

I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

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In a few weeks, I'll be sending my second kid off to school full-time. It's a moment I know I should feel sad about, and believe me, sometimes I do, but mostly I feel guilty because I don't.

I Feel Guilty About Sending My Kids To School

Back when I had my first child, back when he was still a baby, I imagined us moving to the mountains. I was thinking about having three more kids, living off the grid, and soaking up every last bit of their wild childhood. It was a fantasy, through and through.

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My depression is my dirty secret.

Why I Keep My Depression A Dirty Secret

I know it’s a lie when I tell myself that I’m “simply off” or “maybe I’m just having a few bad days” or “I’m in a funk” or “I must be upset about something, but I don’t know what.”

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image credit: Joni Edelman

I Don't Want My Daughter To Be A "Bad Eater"

I wonder because I think I'm making the same mistakes with my daughter. She hardly eats. She's very picky. I feel like food is a constant struggle between us. I also feel like it's all my fault.

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I’m here to fight the patriarchy too.

My Traditional Lifestyle Doesn't Make Me Less Of A Feminist

When I was a teenager, I felt very certain that I was not a feminist. I didn’t exactly understand the textbook definition of feminism, but I had a pretty good sense from the negative connotation I had gleaned while growing up in a narrowly Christian setting.

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