Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

The money is great, but it is not the best part of becoming a working mom by far.

How Being A Working Mom Has Changed My Marriage

The money is great, but it is not the best part of becoming a working mom. Having my own career has shifted the power balance of my relationship.

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I’m here to fight the patriarchy too.

My Traditional Lifestyle Doesn't Make Me Less Of A Feminist

When I was a teenager, I felt very certain that I was not a feminist. I didn’t exactly understand the textbook definition of feminism, but I had a pretty good sense from the negative connotation I had gleaned while growing up in a narrowly Christian setting.

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I had no belief that my babies were in heaven, nor that they would ever be born into this world.

I Don't Believe My Babies Are In Heaven

I had a lot of well-meaning friends and family searching for the right words to say after my back-to-back miscarriages. So many offered solace by guessing at where my lost babies resided in the ether: taken away to Heaven, perhaps forever, perhaps waiting for a better moment— an unknown, destined time these small souls were meant to break into the world. I accepted these comments silently, because they did nothing to comfort me.

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Again and again I refuse to prioritize, refuse to let anything slide, at the expense of my physical and mental health.

Why Is It So Hard To Go Easy On Myself?

Again and again I refuse to prioritize, refuse to let anything slide, at the expense of my physical and mental health.

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I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

My Children Cannot Have All Of Me

I want and need to save some room for myself, to know that I am worthy of a place in the world without the label of mother.

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Keep your pony power, baby. Don’t ever let it go.

Why I Won't Make My Daughter 'Play Nice'

It probably isn’t the sort of parenting moment that is supposed to make a mother proud — the hitting, growling, and otherwise uncivilized decorum... But I couldn’t help feeling a deep satisfaction with my daughter.

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If you are starting to transition to a more minimalist home, it can help to get your kids involved in the process.

5 Ways To Be A More Minimalist Parent 

Minimalism is great in concept, especially when you’re looking at someone else’s well-curated life. Declutter, simplify, own only things that bring you joy. This is all well and good for the twenty-something living in a one bedroom apartment, beholden to no one. When you’re a parent, however, minimalism gets a lot more complicated.

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The point is, if you feel like you're sucking at the back-to-school transition, take heart. I am out here doing way way worse.

It's Only The 2nd Week Of School & I'm Already Falling Apart

Clearly, it does not take long for my over-ambition to turn me from a vision of perfection into a train wreck you can't look away from. Behold, my first week of school splendor, versus my second week of school ineptitude.

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The lies would keep me up at night, gnawing at the place inside me where I felt my baby should be.

I Hid My Miscarriage From My Son & Pretended I Was Still Pregnant

How was I supposed to tell my son, who was already preoccupied and frightened by the idea of death, that his new little brother or sister was gone, that I'd had a miscarriage? I didn't know. So I lied.

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image credit: Joni Edelman

I Don't Want My Daughter To Be A "Bad Eater"

I wonder because I think I'm making the same mistakes with my daughter. She hardly eats. She's very picky. I feel like food is a constant struggle between us. I also feel like it's all my fault.

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