Gigi Engle

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

Sex can be super hot, but it should also be fun! It doesn’t need to be so serious all the time. Let's say sayonara, sex shame! I am so over you. Here are nine silly mistakes you shouldn’t be afraid to make in bed.

I spent much of my childhood fawning over episodes of Star Trek. It was always about Spock for me. Therefore, Star Trek shaped my love life.

Vaginal orgasms are real. But if you want to climax quick? Someone needs to be stimulating the clit with something — usually fingers or a vibrator. Yes, it may mean a little extra work. But a dedicated dude will make it happen.

Being a woman who does not want to become a mother is still a bit of a cultural anomaly in 2017.

You can’t change a fuckboy.

Here’s the absolute truth: you cannot change a fuckboy unless he wants to change by himself. This is where girls get messed up. They think that a guy is going to change his crappy behavior for HER. This is not the case 99.9% of the time. If he’s a fuckboy, he’s not ready to stop being one. It doesn’t matter how great you are or how much you love him. Trust me.

He has to make that decision for himself.

If we stopped buying into the idea that it takes a relationship to be whole, we’d all be better people. I'm happy I'm single!

By saying all people who identify as women want less sex and men want more, you’re grossly generalizing two large groups in a way that is both scientifically inaccurate and ultimately lidded under unreasonable social pressure.

Honestly, I’d say about 90% of the sex I have in my long-term monogamous relationship is “vanilla.” We are, believe it or not, a normal couple who does normal sex things just like anyone else. We are two people who know what the other likes and we do those things.

Having sex in public is exhilarating. But while the risk of being caught is compelling to many of us, getting busted will earn you a fat misdemeanor charge with up to three years in prison. The authorities are not screwing around on this — so keep this in mind before you release your inner exhibitionist and live life in your free-spirited way.