Jess Lahitou

The blatant promise of a career in the spotlight has stripped the Bachelor/Bachelorette of its beautiful, benign lie: that we could watch “regular” people navigate the perils and pitfalls of modern dating, that such a quest was in and of itself enough, and that a happy ending was a real possibility.

Last night was the first chance American voters had to hand tangible results to 2016 presidential candidates.

The year ahead promises to be a whopper of political intrigue, events, and (probably) scandal. Here are the top stories to watch as we head into the hype that comes but once every four years: A presidential election.

Let’s break this down for Spicer.

One question here: why is a major government agency unable to fix its Twitter account for over a year? Two questions: Who is Marc Rich?

Trump’s ability to kick it with top-notch op-ed crews is just nonexistent. As the New York Times’ interview with Trump shows, the man remains ever unable to give a simple, on-point answer. And Twitter's had a hey-day with his responses.

The Republican National Convention ended July 21. If you’re checking the calendar, that puts us at twelve days post-nomination wrap up for Donald J. Trump.

In that tiny window of time, DJT has managed to wreck any conceivable polls-bounce he might have gained from the star-spangled show of pretend Republican unity.

While watching the third Republican debate last night on CNBC, I thought to myself: Self, you’re going to have to write a straight review of this thing. The candidates are too wonky tonight to be caricatured, and even Donald Trump has reigned himself in significantly. The debate was billed as “Your Money, Your Vote,” and the questions hewed pretty close to the economy. Read: not many social-issues gaffe bait.

Watching recent cable news talking heads chat about the prospect of Trump/Cruz/Clinton/Sanders being “denied” the Republican/Democratic nomination, you would think that entertainment media is run by 5th graders. (Although... That WOULD explain a lot.)

Every legal system in the world recognizes gradations of bad behavior.