Jody Allard

ICYMI, today marks the first official day of the seasonal return of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte.

"The thing about trauma is that it is hard to remember many of the details, even though some of them remain eternally etched in your memory. I will never forget the pattern of my friend's curtains that I stared at all night long, willing the sun to rise so I could go home, and I will also never forget staring at the white liquid in my underwear and then standing in the shower, trying to burn away my skin, until the water became icy cold."

When Belgian police asked for a social media blackout of their anti-terrorist operations over the weekend, they got what they wanted in the most Internet way possible –– the hashtag #BrusselsLockdown was quickly taken over by cat pictures.

It’s been three years since I divorced my mother. The reasons are long and complicated, yet also short and simple. My mother is not capable of mothering anyone, and I am healthier and happier without her.

ICYMI, half of my home state of Washington, as well as our neighboring state of Idaho, has been or is currently on fire.

". . . a couple of people posted the nastiest sex ad they could come up with to Craigslist and published all of the responses, including pictures, email addresses, etc. Unfortunately, my ex husband was dumb enough to use a fake email address but still send this "woman" multiple pictures of himself that included both his face and his dick. It was very obvious to everyone concerned that my husband was soliciting nasty sex online."

“I may not be your dream candidate just yet, but I can assure you I am Hillary Clinton's worst nightmare. And in your heart of hearts, you cannot wait to see a debate between Hillary Clinton and Carly Fiorina,” she said. “I will tell you this, I will beat Hillary Clinton."

You can stop talking now. Ssshhhh.

Former Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole endorsed Jeb Bush for president today, leaving the world scratching their heads and expressing their surprise that Dole is actually still alive.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has become the first woman to be named Time magazine's "Person of the Year" in nearly 30 years. The magazine cited her unique values –– including humanity, generosity, and tolerance –– to explain why her leadership merited the award.