Matt Joseph Diaz

This Monday, Matt helps us celebrate Masturbation Month! (To say anything else would betray the beauty of this video.)

This week, Matt talks about fear. What happens when the worst thing you can imagine happening, actually happens?

Dear 16-Year-Old, 500 Pound Matt,

You are not where you're from, and you are not your environment.

[CN: alcohol] Once we were in her apartment she grabbed me by the necktie, kissed me softly on the lips, told me to take my clothes off, and walked into her bedroom. Her clothing dropped to the ground piece by piece from where I stood to the bedroom — like some sort of Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb situation (if it were less creepy and filmed for Cinemax).

"The universe is a big, dark, cold empty space — but you're not any of that. You're a light."

I've long considered myself a collector of failed relationships. From the girlfriend I asked out during a bar crawl and dated for eight days to the conservative Christian who thought her love was “saving me from a life of debauchery,” I actually gained a little pride from my list of failed love affairs. However, while these relationships were problematic, what made them “failures?”

Success is an uphill climb, but it’s rarely a directly uphill climb. There are cliffsides and plateaus, there are points where you have to adapt and change in order to make things work. These are not steps backwards, nor are they indicative of your failure—they’re simply a byproduct of life. More often than not, this ability to work with the circumstances in order to get by will take you farther than certain “skills” ever could.

Happy Monday, Ravishers!

Matt talks about how to deal with being stared at.