Winona Dimeo-Ediger

But my God, have you read a celebrity gossip rag recently? They make Vogue and InStyle seem like forward-thinking beacons of body positivity and intersectional feminism.

Sarah Von Bargen believes yes is more fun than no.

Remember this one time in savasana that the teacher had us visualize all the negative energy in our lives being squeezed out the soles of our feet like a bad vibes garlic press. Imagine my boss’ words as a brown ooze squeezing out of my feet. Imagery is gross but deeply comforting.

Hopefully you say “I love you” to your partner as often as possible. But how often do you tell them you like them? Because as much as we might take loving each other for granted, liking each other isn’t always guaranteed, and it’s rarely vocalized.

I ask myself these questions every time I’m considering a purchase, and if the answer to any of them is “no,” I put it back on the rack.

Clean eating is so passe, you guys. It’s time to get on board the newest trend: dirty eating!

Here are ten things I’ve been really, truly, actually nostalgic for lately, amidst the wild, terrifying ride that is 2017.

Oh my god check out those shoes. Those are uuuuugly! They look like a lizard swallowed a horse hoof and then molted. Not cute

I grew up way out in the country, and lying in bed at night I used to gaze out my window and think, “Maybe someday I’ll live in a cool apartment in the city where I can walk to stuff.” That was literally my big dream of far-off adulthood.

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!