Craigslisters have a unique way of communicating—especially on Missed Connections. From love torn prose reeking of too raw emotion to potent confrontations with bullies, these folks seldom hold back.
Case in point? These gleamin' gems of awkwardness. To preserve genuine, raw, missed connection magic, we've gone ahead and left all the spelling and grammar in its bat-shit original glory.
The High Five Heard 'Round San Francisco
That high five was epic. I was busy on call and you were having good time with friend. If your out there, drinks?"
Why, why, whyyyy were we not there to witness this high five? Did it leave swollen red marks that had to be covered by a palm tattoo?
The Barn Animal Horn
I was on Haight and staring at your car (with bull horns on it) when you drove through the Clayton or Belvedere intersection. You honked your horn at me and my friend, catching us staring. It was a chicken cluck. I just want to know who is cool enough to drive such an eccentric ride.
Please tell us his license plate read "EIEI0." (Sorry.)
The Older Man Who Wasn't Creepy
You were older but not cradle robby, you had that whole dirtbiker style or idgaf style but not the gothic idgaf more of a 'I really could care less cause I'm just here to play pool' kind, you had on a blackish? hat and a blackish jacket or sweatshirt that either had to do with some brewery or winery that I wanted to ask you about and if you worked there.
Line up, gentlemen, this could apply to about half of you dive bar denizens.
When Sunglasses Obscure Love at First Sight
I was wearing sunglasses sitting across from you. You had white tight long sleeve shirt ..osprey bag. I think you are beautiful. Howwwww about we go to dinner somewhere pretty? I loved yr eyes..so pretty light light brown... My eyes are blue and green and change colors...lol really..it's wierd.
Would she have returned the love if he weren't donning shades and eclipsing his kaleidoscopic peepers?
Strong, but Terrible at Basketball
I know this Taboo because you have boyfriend, Roy, who works in the warehouse. He is kind of a bad ass and he could break my skinny 6ft 1 inch frame in half. But I can school him in basketball, and have.
Personally, I'd take the scrawny dude who excels at basketball and isn't afraid to speak his mind. Step aside, Roy's girlfriend.
The Hot Home Invader
I awoke to your bumping mariachi music that was being emitted from your car this morning at 5 AM. I must say, it was a great way to start my day and much more soothing than the alarm clock sound I've chosen on my iPhone . . . I peered out my window to see you sitting on my porch railing, facing my window, wearing nothing but your bra and panties, with waist length coat on, wide open to expose your busty chest. That's a sure fire way to get me out of bed, I'll give you that.
Well, why didn't you ask for my number when you had the chance? Geez.
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Image: I wrote you every day! On Missed Connections ... Courtesy of, ThinkStock