Erin Khar

I'd like your opinion on why a smart, formerly-independent woman can't break ties with someone who I know is emotionally manipulating me, making me question myself, uses me as an option at his convenience, is a womanizer, and admits to being a narcissist?

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

Ask Erin! is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions, about anything at all.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to.

I have been dating my new boyfriend (it is so weird to write that!) for a little over a month. We just, as in this week, made it “exclusive.” I have been in long-term relationships in the past and the holidays were a no-brainer. And when it’s casual, that’s easy to figure out too. But this is foreign territory for me. Do I get him a gift?

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

Q.

Hi Erin,

So this one's a little complicated, and I’m not really sure how to explain it without it sounding insane.

My partner and I have been together on and off since we were teenagers, which is now well over half a decade. I love him, and I think that where we are now, I’m probably going to end up with him permanently. This terrifies me.

You’ve met someone who you actually like. There you are, on your first date, and you think, I can’t believe how well this is going.

My partner and I got together last December. The problem is that, while he loves me, my boyfriend hasn’t got over his ex. Being polyamorous, my partners loving other people as well is not a problem.

When you mumble, I think you don’t really care about what you have to say or I’m not important enough to hear you. Is it shyness? Is it laziness? Is it apathy? Have you forgotten how to speak properly because of your reliance on texting? Whatever it is, it has to STOP. Low-talkers, I’m looking at you, too.