Reclaiming The Adornment Space

Reclaiming the feminine power of beauty rituals.

This weekend, I was at a work function where there were thousands of vendors trying to sell their goods. In the midst of the lights and sales pitches and perfect bodies, I stopped at a booth where a cosmetologist was giving free eyebrow waxes.

Now, I was really late to the eyebrow game. Like, mid-20's. I don't have thick brows or a unibrow, but they're a bit unruly. And that's okay. I don't care enough about my brows, or any one else's for that matter, to make perfect brows a priority. But when a free brow wax opportunity presents itself, you'd better believe I'm going to clean up nature's eyelid warmers. I sat down and scooted in close to the woman who was about to wax my brows.

It's getting harder to get close to anyone on account of my baby belly. But it provides a great conversation starter.

Ally, the cosmetologist, was incredibly sweet. As she worked her magic, we began talking about babies and pregnancy and self-care. She opened up to me about her own miscarriage, her pain around her inability to have children, and the love her partner shows her now in her 50's. I talked about my own miscarriages and my rainbow baby and the power of an affirming partner.

By the end of the brow wax, we were both hugging and crying while people stopped and stared. We didn't care.

There is something shockingly powerful about the ritual of adornment. Of the feminine meeting the feminine in the space of beauty rituals.

I don't think that you need to engage in makeup or waxing or shaving or any of these things to engage the feminine. That is 100% not what I'm saying. I'm not endorsing those things as a standard of beauty, because that's ridiculous. 

Tattoos, haircuts and colors, mani/pedis, makeup, henna, body treatments, massage, waxing, threading, exfoliating, whatever. Can we make that space sacred again?

But we have divorced ourselves from this process of being together, adorning our bodies with genuine love, of being seen and truly seeing each other in this uniquely feminine space. Of connecting with each other with vulnerability over our bodies. Marketing, patriarchy, fast fashion, and a multitude of other factors have robbed women of what I call The Adornment Space.

It is sacred and mysterious and entirely ours. It's time to take it back.

Tattoos, haircuts and colors, mani/pedis, makeup, henna, body treatments, massage, waxing, threading, exfoliating, whatever. Can we make that space sacred again?

Reclaim it.

Soften it.

Celebrate it.

Empower it.

Connect with each other in it.

The power of our beauty is sharing it with each other in the most affirming ways possible.

So, this week, can we try a thing? Invite two friends over to your house. Make the light soft. Brew some tea, or open a bottle of wine you love. Pull out your salt scrubs and face masks and favorite lotions. Treat each other with all of the gentleness and joy you feel for each other. Relax together. See what happens while you're taking care of each other and nurturing your inner goddess. Your body is worth caring for, your skin is worth nourishing, your well-being is worth the time it takes to connect with other women.

Want a simple and decadent way to reclaim your Adornment Space without buying into the beauty industry? Try this sugar scrub. You probably have all of the ingredients in your pantry already.

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