Allison Cooper

There used to be weekends where I would rise and have no plans for the day but to do whatever the heck I wanted. I relied on no one and no one relied on me. Yes, there are aspects of those days that I miss (especially the sleeping in), but being a mom has made me a better person and my life much more purposeful. Would I love a do-over of a weekend sans kids? Sure! But as far as my character goes, nothing can compare to the way being a mom has humbled me.

Make sure that at least twice a year you are getting rid of unused or old makeup — even your eyeshadow as these are laden with bacteria.

Clear the country bumpkin idea out of your head, because that’s not what I’m referring to here. A great plaid button down shirt can be just what you need to update your wardrobe this fall.

Stretch marks. Tiger stripes. Road maps. Ant trails. Tattoos. Mommy stripes.

In theory, the concept of a new mom not being able to answer your phone calls and/or texts right away should be self-explanatory...

I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat my feelings right now — I’m nervous about going from a mom of one to a mom of two. My son is seven, so he, my husband, and I have had seven years of time as “just the three of us.”

Yes, I said it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops and admit the one thing that many moms might feel ashamed to say out loud: I live for nap time.

Most of us grow up envisioning the “perfect” family that we will have one day. One boy, one girl – 3 years apart. Right?

"The whining is getting annoying. Yes, I said it and you read correctly. It’s annoying to hear you repeat the same thing over and over about yourself, whining about how you need to change your eating habits, work out more, and hire a new trainer. Calm yourself and move forward with your life . . ."

These are the things I anticipate most when my kids finally go the eff to sleep. I deserve it after a day of being in what feels like survival mode.