Christine Schoenwald

Christine Schoenwald

Bio

Christine Schoenwald is a writer, comedian, spoken word diva, and cat lover. She has a degree in Theater Arts and pursued a career in comedy and improv at places like The Groundlings, ACME Comedy Theater, and Bang Comedy Studio before discovering her love for personal narrative/storytelling… well,  that and the fact that she never developed that tough skin that actors are supposed to have or the desire to go on auditions. Her writing has appeared in Salon, The Los Angeles Times, Purple Clover, Bustle, Role Reboot, XoJane, and she’s a regular contributor to Your Tango. She’s performed in storytelling/personal essay shows such as Bawdy Storytelling, The P.E.Z. Show, Tasty Words, Taboo Tales, and many others. Her story Stinkos was nominated for The Pushcart Prize. For more information, please visit Christineschoenwaldwriter.com.

Christine Schoenwald Articles

My Family Doesn't Celebrate Holidays, But I Do 

Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are nearly here. So, what do you do when your family doesn’t celebrate any holidays whatsoever?

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I’m fat, but I have no fat friends.

I'm Fat And I Wish I Had Fat Friends 

I’m fat, but I have no fat friends. It’s not that all my friends are height-weight appropriate — it’s just that I can’t describe them as fat.

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What It's Like Growing Up Terrorized By A Brother With Schizophrenia

My brother, Frederick, was eight when I was born. I don't know if he was happy to have a sister or resented me being born, as it was difficult to get any kind of reading on what he was thinking or feeling. I never felt any love or affection from him — unless his way of showing it was through emotional and physical abuse.

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No matter where I am weight-wise, this isn’t a fat suit that I can take off, and I can’t rely on it to keep me safe — that’s something I have to do for myself.

My Fat Doesn't Protect Me; I Have To Do That For Myself

Sexual assault doesn’t discriminate based on body weight, and none of us should take our safety for granted. My fat doesn't protect me.

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Photo by Carolina Heza on Unsplash

Why Childhood Emotional Abuse May Cause Serious Physical Pain In Adults

It isn't an exaggeration to say that people who experience migraines suffer. And sadly, research now shows migraines themselves may, at least in part, be caused by prior suffering in the form of childhood trauma from emotional abuse. Read...
My candy addiction is real and the holidays are hard.

The Holidays Are The Worst Time Of Year For My Candy Addiction

My candy addiction is always with me, but the period between Halloween and New Years is the most challenging time of year.

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Ooh la la.

Pretty AND Horny: 10 Beauty Products That Double As Sex Stimulants

Whether you're a high-maintenance kind of woman or a low-maintenance one, chances are high that you use some kind of beauty product. It may be that a bar of soap, or a special shampoo or lipstick. Maybe you have shelves full of moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, and hair products.

Whatever you do, you do a little something, even if it's just to spray a scent on. You may prefer only the simplest of organic products to touch your body or may spend thousands of dollars getting only the finest name brands.

Then there's the question of getting a little something-something to make getting your sexy on even easier, especially if you're not comfortable going to a sex shop. To help you out, here are ten products that will make you feel sexier and intensify your arousal.

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A sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it.

Men Who Want Sex With Fat Women But Won't Date Them

A sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it. We need to talk about men who want sex with fat women but won't date them.

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I'm Fat-Shaming My Cat And It Needs To Stop

The truth is, we want our cats fat and our women skinny.

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