Christine Schoenwald

Christine Schoenwald

Bio

Christine Schoenwald is a writer, comedian, spoken word diva, and cat lover. She has a degree in Theater Arts and pursued a career in comedy and improv at places like The Groundlings, ACME Comedy Theater, and Bang Comedy Studio before discovering her love for personal narrative/storytelling… well,  that and the fact that she never developed that tough skin that actors are supposed to have or the desire to go on auditions. Her writing has appeared in Salon, The Los Angeles Times, Purple Clover, Bustle, Role Reboot, XoJane, and she’s a regular contributor to Your Tango. She’s performed in storytelling/personal essay shows such as Bawdy Storytelling, The P.E.Z. Show, Tasty Words, Taboo Tales, and many others. Her story Stinkos was nominated for The Pushcart Prize. For more information, please visit Christineschoenwaldwriter.com.

Christine Schoenwald Articles

Which Wine You Should Drink Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Astrologers believe that the positions of the sun, moon, and planets at the time of your birth have a direct influence on your character — so why shouldn't they also have an influence on what you drink when it's time for wine?

Read...
"When my body cried and begged me to be kinder to it, I ignored its requests for compassion and continued to beat myself up." Image: Thinkstock

I Was My Body's Bully

“You’re fat and ugly,” I’d hear, or, “Look at your stomach, it’s disgusting!” This wasn’t a neighborhood bully taunting me on my way to school — this is what I said to myself all day long, well into adulthood.

Read...

I'm Fat-Shaming My Cat And It Needs To Stop

The truth is, we want our cats fat and our women skinny.

Read...
Ooh la la.

Pretty AND Horny: 10 Beauty Products That Double As Sex Stimulants

Whether you're a high-maintenance kind of woman or a low-maintenance one, chances are high that you use some kind of beauty product. It may be that a bar of soap, or a special shampoo or lipstick. Maybe you have shelves full of moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, and hair products.

Whatever you do, you do a little something, even if it's just to spray a scent on. You may prefer only the simplest of organic products to touch your body or may spend thousands of dollars getting only the finest name brands.

Then there's the question of getting a little something-something to make getting your sexy on even easier, especially if you're not comfortable going to a sex shop. To help you out, here are ten products that will make you feel sexier and intensify your arousal.

Read...
Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner

Why No Woman-From-Birth Should Be Threatened By A Transgender Woman

There isn't a competition between transgender women and cisgender women on who's the better woman. How you express your womanhood is up to you, as is whether or not you want to express it. It'd be better to widen the definition of a woman rather than limit it.

Read...
People with anxiety show a behavior know as over-generalization.

People With Anxiety See The World In An Entirely Different Way

Anxiety isn't something people choose to experience — it's connected with how their brains see the world.

A new study conducted by Offir Laufer, David Israeli and Rony Paz (of the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel) has found that individuals with anxiety see the world differently, and this difference is because of a variance in their brains.

Read...
I imagine he was surprised that a woman of my size had kicked his ass in our (previously unbeknownst to me) competition.

I'm Done Trying To Be The Perfect Fat Person

Some of our happiest moments are those when we think that no one is watching: when we sing at the top of our lungs in our cars, or we dance down the frozen-food aisle of the supermarket allowing ourselves the freedom to let our inner child out. However, when you’re fat and the fat person’s representative, you don’t get any of those times of abandon because you’re always trying to lead by example and show that you’re the perfect fat person.

Read...
Tackling your daughter's body insecurities is anything but easy.

How To Talk To Your Daughter About Her Body

As if parenting wasn't challenging enough, sometimes you actually have to talk to your children. Not only do you have to speak with them, but you want to do it in a way that will have positive and lasting results.

Read...
This is my story of growing up in a fatphobic household.

Growing Up In A Fatphobic Household

I grew up in a fatphobic household — one that was created by my mother’s fear of getting and staying fat.

Read...
Depression isn't as simple as you thought it was.

6 Brutal Truths About Depression That Doctors Aren't Telling You

Depression isn't just about being unhappy about something or feeling blue; it's a legitimate and very serious medical condition with many emotional, physical, behavioral and cognitive symptoms. It isn't inevitable for anyone living in the modern world, and it also doesn't mean that you're a bad or weak person if you suffer from depression.

Read...