Jody Allard

Jody Allard

Bio

Jody Allard is a former techie turned freelance writer living in Seattle. Her online work has appeared on Time, xoJane, and Offbeat Home, among others. She writes primarily about food, family, mothering, and life with a chronic illness. 

Jody Allard Articles

Scientists Discover Ancient Viruses In the Arctic That Will Probably Kill Us All

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.

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Twitter Turns Oregon Militia Into Brokeback Mountain Inspired Erotica

If imagining the Oregon militia huddled together for warmth now that the Feds have cut off their power fills you with Brokeback Mountain inspired nostalgia, you aren't alone.

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Hot Dogs Are People And Bacon Will Kill You –– Or Not

Before you run to the bathroom to puke out your human DNA containing hot dog while sobbing over delicious bacon, let me clear up a few misconceptions.

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Man Punches Elderly Costco Shopper In The Face Over Nutella Waffle Samples

If you're anything like me, the only enjoyable part of shopping at Costco is the samples. It's always packed, there's nowhere to park, people push their massive fucking carts slower than molasses in January, and everything about it makes me homicidal EXCEPT for the sweet, sweet lure of the samples.

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Frozen Embryos Don't Have Rights, Women Do 

"It's simple, really. If you can muddy the waters enough, and espouse concern for the rights of those poor defenseless embryos enough, what should be a simple statement about the rights of women to make choices for their own bodies becomes, instead, a convoluted argument around viability and fetal stages that puts the presumed "rights" of fetuses on an equal footing with the actual rights of adult women."

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Kim Davis Has Filed Another Bigoted Petition To Halt Gay Marriage And I'm Sick Of Her Sh*t

In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

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News Flash: The Catholic Church Says Domestic Violence Is Your Fault

He characterized the "serious problem" with domestic violence as a failure by the couples to have "a true marriage" and attacked the politicians who support what he termed "quickie divorces" (you know, the ones that save battered women's lives).

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Pumpkin Spice Lattes Are Back and It's Officially Pumpkin Everything Season

ICYMI, today marks the first official day of the seasonal return of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte.

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House Republicans Vote To Defund Planned Parenthood — Again

In today's news, the sky is blue, Republican lawmakers are assholes, and the House just voted to defund Planned Parenthood. Again.

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