Jody Allard

While St. Onge is best known for writing for funny folks like Letterman and Rosie, her FB post this morning about weight and weight loss was as authentic as it gets.

Most stories involving robots that have been developed to think and feel end with robot uprisings and the near annihilation of the human race.

In case you need still more proof that feminism is desperately and unequivocally needed, here are three completely horrible stories from this week alone.

You can stop talking now. Ssshhhh.

I was born without fingers on my right hand. No one knows why, even now, 36 years later. It just happened, as these things sometimes do.

"The thing about trauma is that it is hard to remember many of the details, even though some of them remain eternally etched in your memory. I will never forget the pattern of my friend's curtains that I stared at all night long, willing the sun to rise so I could go home, and I will also never forget staring at the white liquid in my underwear and then standing in the shower, trying to burn away my skin, until the water became icy cold."

Before I went to therapy, I married a lot of men, had a lot of children, and worked myself to the bone to achieve career success. If I wasn't happy, it was easy to blame that on my alcoholic, cheating husband or raising a tribe of kids or even working too damn much.

It took five years for my daughter to be diagnosed with autism. There were dozens of red flags, beginning from the time she was about 10 months old, but her pediatrician always told me that she was fine. "She made eye contact with me," she reassured me. "She can't be on the spectrum." Besides, most children with autism, she reminded me, are boys.

If you have kids, you have probably experienced the unique pain of stepping on a LEGO. After years of listening to parents' tales of woe, LEGO has finally devised a solution: adult-sized LEGO slippers to protect your precious feet.

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.