Rebekah Kuschmider

After The Attacks In Orlando, Here Is How You Can Actually Help

Michelle Obama is writing a book!!!!!!!!

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“I think the only card she has is the woman's card. She has nothing else going. Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she would get five percent of the vote.” I’m gonna need someone to hold my earrings here.

Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD are planning to attempt the first US penis transplant. The surgery will be performed on a soldier who was wounded in Afghanistan.

In other words, you can’t cut off a source of health care because you got all wee-wee’d up about a sketchy video.

As Americans, we all believe staunchly in freedom of speech. That fundamental concept in the American experiment has led to artistic masterworks like A Streetcar Named Desire, world-changing orators like Martin Luther King Jr, and entirely problematic stuff like everything that comes out of Sarah Palin’s mouth.

We all need a little magic sometimes.

Listen, we’ve all been over this before. Human beings have bodies and those bodies are theirs to use as they see fit. They can put on clothes or not. They can be photographed or not. They can marry megalomaniacal real estate tycoons who think they’d be good at being president or not. AND ALL OF THAT IS JUST FINE.

Do you - or your child - want a Hatchimal for this holiday gift giving season? Well, guess what?! You probably can’t have one!