Rebekah Kuschmider

The man who launched 1,000 memes will be leaving government after 43 years of service, first as a Senator from Delaware, then as Obama’s right hand man.

Some people think periods are blessed celebrations of the cycles of womanhood and its connection to the earth.

Oh Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz. The Senator from Texas has been working hard this campaign season to shore up his conservative bona fides, including a memoir that talks about some of his more notable cases from when he was Solicitor General for Texas. But he skips a really interesting — nay — prurient case involving the legality of selling and using sex toys. Mother Jones ran a detailed analysis of it today and woo boy, is the internet going nuts!

Trump was supposed to head to Milwaukee on Thursday to visit a Harley-Davidson plant and sign yet another executive order. Until, that is, Harley-Davidson allegedly backed out. According to an unnamed White House official, Harley-Davidson didn't want to face the protests that were sure to accompany any appearance by the historically unpopular new president.

“You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men. They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have.”

Last week, a female shark at the Coex Aquarium in Seoul, Korea

Nike is getting ready to debut a line of sport hijabs for Muslim athletes.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

So why are you still sitting here reading this? Get up! Grab your keys! Go get a doughnut!

Yesterday, the big news in food science was that BUTTER ISN’T BAD FOR YOU AFTER ALL! It turns out that butter, like other saturated fats, isn’t the health demon-food that we were once told it was. I think now we’re supposed to do Kermit-arms and dance around rejoicing that we can butter our toast with impunity.