Rebekah Kuschmider

Call me when Starbucks is serving a drink laced with cyanide and then I’ll join you in outrage.

Yesterday, the big news in food science was that BUTTER ISN’T BAD FOR YOU AFTER ALL! It turns out that butter, like other saturated fats, isn’t the health demon-food that we were once told it was. I think now we’re supposed to do Kermit-arms and dance around rejoicing that we can butter our toast with impunity.

There is a product on the market called The Little Rooster that you tuck into your undies at night, and in the morning, it starts vibrating on your clitoris to wake you up.

If you owe the feds a tax payment and don’t want to pay by check or e-transfer, you can make a cash payment in person at 7-11 stores. This is incredibly helpful for people who don’t have bank accounts or credit cards — or people who need to get taxes paid locally, at a spot near public transportation.

Everyone knows that Hillary Clinton got three million more votes than Donald Trump, right? Yeah. It’s true.

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Paul Ryan and 216 other Republican representatives (but no Democrats, FYI) voted to pass the American Health Care Act (AHCA), which is an attempt to unmake everything that the Affordable Act (Obamacare, if you’re a nasty woman or bad hombre) did to make health insurance more accessible, more comprehensive, and less expensive.

It’s October, and everything is about to go pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That means we all get our annual reminder to be aware of our own breast tissue and all the ways we can take care of it.

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

Of all the weird powers granted to various branches of the government, the right of U.S. senators to conduct filibusters — to keep talking as long as they want — is one of the weirdest.