Rebekah Kuschmider

Have you ever wanted to have sex like Gwyneth Paltrow? Me neither, but she has finally turned her attention — and the latest issue of Goop — to telling us all about sex in the Paltrow-verse. I rushed right over and read it so you don’t have to.

So — who is everyone thinking about when they masturbate? The sex toy company We-Vibe wanted to find out, so they asked 1,000 people who their favorite celeb fantasies were.

Before EMS could get to the scene, about a dozen people lifted the bus up and got all the passengers out to administer aid.

(Sidebar: anyone who puts baby cats in a bag and tosses them in the trash does not deserve to keep breathing the same air as normal kitty-loving people.)

I know a woman who worked in an inner-city hospital before the passage of Roe v Wade. Every week, staff there saw women come in battling massive infection or blood loss. They actually reserved beds for women like this because it was so common. The cause? Illegal, unsafe abortions. But that was then, right? That was 42 years ago, right? That doesn’t happen anymore, right? Wrong.

In the midst of a week that’s been rife with sadness and confusion, I am pleased to present to you a story that is unequivocally happy. A fairy tale ending, if you will.

At a time when presidential candidates are on tape saying hideous things about grabbing women by their genitals, it’s easy to look at the male of t

One thing that is absolutely true is that Donald Trump insults everyone. He’s been loser-ing and dummy-ing his way across the slate of GOP presidential hopefuls for months now. It’s actually jaw-droppingly awful, because it’s pretty evident that he insults EVERYONE. He can’t pull it together enough to be polite under any circumstance, which means he would turn a state dinner into a Real Housewives-style table-turning circus. In fact, I could see him calling Netanyahu a “prostitution whore” and that terrifies me.

I’m going to start today’s Rav’s Radar with two words: Don’t Panic.

Yesterday, the big news in food science was that BUTTER ISN’T BAD FOR YOU AFTER ALL! It turns out that butter, like other saturated fats, isn’t the health demon-food that we were once told it was. I think now we’re supposed to do Kermit-arms and dance around rejoicing that we can butter our toast with impunity.