Rebekah Kuschmider

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

“And I saw something wrapped around her, so I ran up and punched it in the side of the head,” Gibbs told the CBC. “At that point, I realized it was a cougar.”

You might know that they call six-toed cats Hemmingways. But what do they call four-eared cats? Well, in the case of one such kitty in Pennsylvania, they call him… Batman.

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Now, listen. I know that anything that happens in 45 minutes with an aesthetician isn't going to be wizardry. It might not even be noticeable. But I also know that I am not very good at treating myself to nice things that involve sitting down and letting other people take care of me.

The First Amendment of the Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Notably, there are no instructions for exactly how to petition the government, and no limits on what kind of grievances for which citizens may seek redress. Which is why it’s totally constitutional and patriotic that a lady lit into Florida Governor Rick Scott in a Starbucks.

Yesterday, Old Navy sent out a tweet to alert us all to a sale. Woohoo! Cheap summer clothes! Everyone likes cheap clothes! Right?

Women are a big topic in politics. Whether you’re the first viable female presidential candidate, stumping for paid parental leave, campaigning on reducing access to abortion, or — if you're Donald Trump — talking about female reporters being on their period, the topic of women is inescapable on the campaign trail. You can't win an election without women. Well, women voters.

But can you win an election without any women on your senior staff?

Yes. That’s right. Texas passed laws to allegedly make abortion safer when abortion is already nearly perfectly safe. Our good friend Justice Breyer honed in on this yesterday, when he asked the lawyer defending the law how often Texas patients are transferred from abortion provider to hospital.

Not a Muslim ban, but some non-Muslims will get to the top of the list faster? Uh-huh. Make of that what you will, folks, but it sure sounds like an unconstitutional religious test to me.