Rebekah Kuschmider

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

Breaking! Breaking! Ben & Jerry’s is introducing a line of non-dairy frozen desserts!

No word on whether Hill-dawg herself is a fan of crullers or jelly-filled.

No mention is made of what happens should a teen be estranged from one parent, should a teen be in a single-parent family, if there are geographic distances between a teen and a parent, and did I mention that abortions are nobody’s beeswax? Yeah.

The Congressional baseball game has been happening for over 100 years. It is a highlight of summer among Beltway folks. And during this morning's practice, some fuckwit opened fire. And he shot people who could have been my husband, or any of his bosses, or any of his coworkers, or any of our myriad friends on the Hill. And I am shattered.

Yesterday, Donald J.

Grab your iPhones and launch the app store! There’s a new emoji keyboard out there, and you are going to want to grab it!

Apple CEO Tim Cook has taken to the internet to tell the world the company will not be complying with FBI requests to hack the San Bernardino shooters’ phones.

When asked about the Perdue’s remarks, White House press secretary Josh Earnest suggested that the Senator look in the Bible again — this time for the words for an apology.

So far, April is mainly just walking around and not giving birth, which is probably annoying to poor April. There’s nothing quite like the end of pregnancy, when you just want to be done with it and get to the part where you have a baby. Maybe it’s different for giraffes, but that’s sure how I felt when I was pregnant.