Rebekah Kuschmider

It’s all the fun of getting new stuff without all the hassle of driving, parking, going into a store, experiencing sensory overload, and walking out with a bag full of items that closely resemble items you purchased the last time you decided to go shopping.

The good news is that we seem to be gaining adult supervision in the White House for the moment. And in Congress. And also at the FBI.

Yeah, no. No one wants their bottle of body wash to look like their actual body.

“You know, in my next life, when I come back, I want to be someone in the WTA because they ride on the coattails of the men. They don't make any decisions, and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I'd go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born because they have carried this sport. They really have.”

See, sex requires everyone in the room be on board for whatever is happening. Some people like to think that they’re so in tune with their partner that they know what they can do and what they can’t do, but that’s a dangerous supposition. At any moment during a sexual encounter, something can change. Consent can be withdrawn.

According to reports today, O’Reilly has reached his lifetime limit on harassing women at FoxNews and will lose his cable show in the process.

Joe Biden has been a lot of things to a lot of people. He was a senator for the people of Delaware.

If Doritos wanted to change something, I’d say they should make their chips slightly smaller so the edges don’t scrape the roof of your mouth when you bite into them. That’s all.

Trump has been increasingly infuriated over the Russia investigation overseen by Comey and his agency. He even screams at the TV when he sees reporting on it. That explains his idea of demanding cover for firing the FBI director.

President Obama plans to visit a mosque in Baltimore, MD. He’s going there to speak about the problems associated with global anti-Islamic bigotry and to promote religious tolerance. He delivered a similar message about anti-Semitism at the Israeli embassy last week.