Rebekah Kuschmider

We interrupt this dumpster fire that is the United States of America in 2017 to bring you what is probably the most horrifying news in the history

Now, if you need me, I’m going to see if I can rig something similar for my dog so she can tell me if she’s barking at real danger or just a cheeky squirrel.

Do you want a man known for calling people “losers” to be sitting at a table with all the major economic powers in the world and trying to work out international trade deals or arms agreements? Or do you think he’d offend everyone in the room so much that he’d turn us into a global pariah?

Dr. Gunter has lots of medical reasons why one should not do this (as well as a stomach-turning description of a “retained tampon” removal, so be warned). I have a lay-person’s response: OMG DON’T DO THAT TO YOUR PERFECTLY GOOD VAGINA!

There are bedtime stories, and then there are bed time stories. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge — know what I mean?

Have you ever been in Denver or Portland or Seattle and wanted to buy some weed but didn’t want the hassle of going from weed shop to weed shop to

I don’t know what you escape into when you’re overwhelmed these days, but for me? It’s makeup. That’s where the Kardashian binges come in.

Would a llama really take out a lynx? The Lynx Trust says yes, but sheep farmers remain unconvinced. While no ruling has been made on lynx or llama introduction, the winner of this battle royale may end up being the sheep that fuel the local economy and many a Sunday dinner.

Like Gwyneth, I’m a mom of two kids, so I’m kind of hung up on the fact that she has the time to take a whole bath every night. I usually only manage to squeeze in a prison shower after the kids are in bed and before I collapse, so this brush-and-bathe routine is really amazing to me.

In what might be the WTF-iest story in the history of WTF, a woman in Texas is suing the state for wrongly imprisoning her for a month, during which time she was subjected to physical and mental abuse at the hands of guards and other prisoners. What was her crime? Being a rape victim who suffered a mental collapse while testifying.