Rebekah Kuschmider

If the first line of your personal dating profile reads: “Must love combovers, bankruptcy court, and misogyny,” have I got good news for you! There is now a special dating site just for singles who support Donald Trump.

In the midst of this firestorm was poor Rachael Ray, who has never been linked to JayZ in any way. The only thing she did was have a name similar to Rachel Roy, so she’s feeling the sting. Lemons and bees keep appearing in her comments sections. Hopefully, her signature humor will rule the day and she’ll invent a lemon-honey dessert called Becky Bars to show us she’s not mad.

Mr. Rogers famously told us all to look for the helpers in times of great stress. Well, this is a time of great stress and I found a helper — specifically, a little dog in Australia who is helping this boy.

Trump has been increasingly infuriated over the Russia investigation overseen by Comey and his agency. He even screams at the TV when he sees reporting on it. That explains his idea of demanding cover for firing the FBI director.

This event and the movement it’s spawning has the potential to kick some serious ass.

The good news is that we seem to be gaining adult supervision in the White House for the moment. And in Congress. And also at the FBI.

For all of us who have wished we could be hooked up to an IV of coffee, the moment may have arrived! No, your doctor isn’t willing to install a PIC line for you to hook up to an urn at your local Starbucks. Instead, some entrepreneurs are crowd-funding to produce a bracelet that administers a steady stream of transdermal caffeine.

So far, April is mainly just walking around and not giving birth, which is probably annoying to poor April. There’s nothing quite like the end of pregnancy, when you just want to be done with it and get to the part where you have a baby. Maybe it’s different for giraffes, but that’s sure how I felt when I was pregnant.

If you ever wanted proof that the moral arc of the universe always lands in the right place, we have only to consider the fate of internet shock-jo

Listen, we’ve all been over this before. Human beings have bodies and those bodies are theirs to use as they see fit. They can put on clothes or not. They can be photographed or not. They can marry megalomaniacal real estate tycoons who think they’d be good at being president or not. AND ALL OF THAT IS JUST FINE.