Rebekah Kuschmider

We have all made it through another madcap week here in 2017. All kinds of groovy things have been going on — and by groovy, I mean things that make everyone ask: 'Dude, is he on drugs? No? Then am I on drugs? Because this is all too weird not to involve drugs.'

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

What trans people are — unfortunately — is a handy punching bag for a wildly unpopular president. This man with his approval rating hovering under 40%, with his family under scrutiny for shady financial and political dealings, with his entire policy agenda — such as it is, considering he knows fuckall about policy — in jeopardy due to grassroots opposition to it, this man is flailing around looking for a distraction.

Last night, Donald Trump’s pick for Secretary of Education was in the hot seat during her confirmation hearing.

For those living in poverty, accessing menstrual supplies can be a true crisis. That’s why it’s so damn brilliant and compassionate that lawmakers New York City are proposing programs that will make menstrual supplies free and available in public schools, and homeless shelters.

This year, as a special treat from Mother Nature, who appears to be pro-choice, there will be a blizzard bearing down on DC as the marchers do their anti-choice thing. Now, I’m a long time DC area resident. I’ve seen a lot of these marches, and there are a few things I know:

Normally, when I think of invasive species, I get a pretty grim picture in my mind. The wilds of Florida are no stranger to terrifying invasive species either — 16 foot Burmese pythons, anyone? — but their latest case of exotic pets gone feral is less horror-movie and more “ZOMG I WANT TO SNUGGLE THEM!”

Nike is getting ready to debut a line of sport hijabs for Muslim athletes.

First of all, it seems practically criminal that they don’t call the device a joystick. I mean, really? Really.

President Obama is not here for campus sexual assault. Literally.