Rebekah Kuschmider

Do you know about skin cancer? Of course you do. It's not like it's a secret. Skin cancer is a very bad thing that can happen to anyone with skin. So if you're planning on tanning it up this year, easy solution: just don't.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

I’ve gotta say, mind-magic like this would be an exciting addition to the scope of presidential powers.

Evidently, the man reached the security checkpoint of the Visitors Center and pulled a gun on the security force, whose job it is to prevent people with guns from infiltrating the Capitol complex and taking out US lawmakers. They shot the guy and sent him off to the the hospital for surgery. His condition is currently unknown.

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We have all made it through another madcap week here in 2017. All kinds of groovy things have been going on — and by groovy, I mean things that make everyone ask: 'Dude, is he on drugs? No? Then am I on drugs? Because this is all too weird not to involve drugs.'

“The reason cats are so pissy is they’re God’s perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them” - Da

Your dog was destined to be your best friend. It’s SCIENCE.

To see a performer — a male performer, at that — stand up and call out groping like that? I want to scream "F*CK YEAH!" and buy that guy a drink after the show.

Apple CEO Tim Cook has taken to the internet to tell the world the company will not be complying with FBI requests to hack the San Bernardino shooters’ phones.