Rebekah Kuschmider

Friends, I would like to announce that we have reached Peak Fall. How do I know this? Because I have discovered that there is pumpkin spice flavored vodka.

Did this summer’s release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child have you longing for more time in the wizarding world? Do you wish you were headed to Platform 9 3/4 next week? Do you just need more Potter? Well, look no further than Pottermore!

We interrupt this dumpster fire that is the United States of America in 2017 to bring you what is probably the most horrifying news in the history

So far, April is mainly just walking around and not giving birth, which is probably annoying to poor April. There’s nothing quite like the end of pregnancy, when you just want to be done with it and get to the part where you have a baby. Maybe it’s different for giraffes, but that’s sure how I felt when I was pregnant.

The incoming Trump administration is taking aim at climate change — and probably not in the good way.

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

Nike is getting ready to debut a line of sport hijabs for Muslim athletes.

Yeah, no. No one wants their bottle of body wash to look like their actual body.

Erin O'Flaherty, Miss Missouri, is the first openly gay Miss America contestant.

“I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!”