Rebekah Kuschmider

We need to rethink government and politics, and perhaps the best way to do it is to visualize it the way we would explain it to our kids.

The Obamas are meeting with the Queen Elizabeth II of England this week in honor of her 90th birthday. They gave her a custom photo album with pictures of the Queen with past Presidents and First Ladies.

This isn’t your old-school, gas-station-bathroom condom dispenser, either. It's called a Wellness To Go station that sells condoms, Plan B Emergency Contraception, pregnancy tests, tampons and pads, and even over-the-counter painkillers like Advil and Tylenol.

You could probably look on the internet and find people whining about the changes, but I’m in too good a mood about seeing women and minorities on my money to go looking for bigots and their rainy damn parades.

There is a product on the market called The Little Rooster that you tuck into your undies at night, and in the morning, it starts vibrating on your clitoris to wake you up.

No word on whether Hill-dawg herself is a fan of crullers or jelly-filled.

And here I thought the best way to improve sexual performance was to be attentive to your partner and discuss what feels good and what feels even better. Silly sex-positive me.

Evidently, the man reached the security checkpoint of the Visitors Center and pulled a gun on the security force, whose job it is to prevent people with guns from infiltrating the Capitol complex and taking out US lawmakers. They shot the guy and sent him off to the the hospital for surgery. His condition is currently unknown.

After much deliberation, the Food Police have determined that caffeine, in moderation, is still not bad for people. You are free to drink 400 mg of caffeine a day— the equivalent of 36 ounces of regular coffee — and nothing bad will happen to you.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is no such thing as a perfect bra. More annoying is the equally-universally acknowledged truth that good bras are never cheap, and cheap bras are seldom any good.