Rebekah Kuschmider

Now, listen. I know that anything that happens in 45 minutes with an aesthetician isn't going to be wizardry. It might not even be noticeable. But I also know that I am not very good at treating myself to nice things that involve sitting down and letting other people take care of me.

Ah, the oh-so-common slippery slope idea. If same sex marriages are to be legal, why not other kinds of marriages? Why not polygamy or polyandry or marriage to animals or that lady who married a roller coaster?

Yesterday, the the British Foreign Office updated its travel guidance regarding the US to reflect the risks to gay people who travel to North Carolina and Mississippi. The new laws passed in those states regarding the rights of LGBTQ people have made waves across the pond, and the Brits don’t want any of their own caught in a bigotry riptide.

If the preparations for the athletes are any indication, the Olympic Village may be one sexy spot!

So, I’m scrolling through my news feed this morning, looking for something to brighten my day, and I see a headline that catches my eye. Seems 21 Jump Steet co-stars Channing Tatum and Jillian Bell are slated to star in a remake of Splash, the 1984 movie where Daryl Hannah played a mermaid seeking love on land. “Oh wow,” I thought to myself. “How cool would it be if Channing Tatum were the mer-person in this movie?”

So why are you still sitting here reading this? Get up! Grab your keys! Go get a doughnut!

See, Brexit wasn’t anything light-hearted and fun. It was a referendum vote over whether Britain should remain a part of the European Union. It took place yesterday, and the people decided to split apart.

If the first line of your personal dating profile reads: “Must love combovers, bankruptcy court, and misogyny,” have I got good news for you! There is now a special dating site just for singles who support Donald Trump.

What trans people are — unfortunately — is a handy punching bag for a wildly unpopular president. This man with his approval rating hovering under 40%, with his family under scrutiny for shady financial and political dealings, with his entire policy agenda — such as it is, considering he knows fuckall about policy — in jeopardy due to grassroots opposition to it, this man is flailing around looking for a distraction.

President and interior design prodigy Donald Trump this week told members at one of his golf resorts that he leaves the White House a lot because it’s “a real dump.” Obviously, he must be right.