Rebekah Kuschmider

We need to rethink government and politics, and perhaps the best way to do it is to visualize it the way we would explain it to our kids.

I was all set to write a lighthearted piece here about KFC’s new line of flavored nail polish. Yes, you did read that right. KFC has a line of nail polishes that come in “original recipe” and “hot and spicy” and they would LITERALLY make your nails finger lickin’ good. I mean OMG! Sadly, they’re only available in Hong Kong.

If you are a dog or a cat and have sensitive hearing and a limited understanding of patriotism, fireworks seem like an assault. For all your dog knows, the world is actually ending in a blaze of colorful sparkles and loud explosions.

The online company just announced that any employee is eligible for 26 weeks of paid leave after the birth or adoption of a child. That’s six whole months of paid leave!

Lakeland Florida authorities were summoned by an alert citizen who told them, “I've got a dead body over here in the lake. Uh, it looks like an alligator is trying to pull it down under.”

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

Everyone knows that Hillary Clinton got three million more votes than Donald Trump, right? Yeah. It’s true.

If your marriage is anything like mine, your text history with your spouse is a mixture of topics, often several at once. It’s not unheard of for me and my husband to be flirting in one text and talking about what time our son’s soccer game is in the next — and those texts minute be sent seconds apart.

So, who is more actively feminist this week? Ivanka, who can’t articulate a White House policy for bettering the lives of women? Or Beyoncé, who is shelling out big bucks to better the lives of women?

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.