Rebekah Kuschmider

Queen Elsa isn't the only one with magic hands anymore! Nine-year-old Karissa Mitchell was born missing part of her right hand and arm. And while she wasn’t born with a love of the movie Frozen, she certainly has plenty of that too!

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

So, I’m scrolling through my news feed this morning, looking for something to brighten my day, and I see a headline that catches my eye. Seems 21 Jump Steet co-stars Channing Tatum and Jillian Bell are slated to star in a remake of Splash, the 1984 movie where Daryl Hannah played a mermaid seeking love on land. “Oh wow,” I thought to myself. “How cool would it be if Channing Tatum were the mer-person in this movie?”

(Sidebar: anyone who puts baby cats in a bag and tosses them in the trash does not deserve to keep breathing the same air as normal kitty-loving people.)

She almost makes a good point, but it’s lost among the WTF of her not realizing that babies need more care than dumped friends. That we have reached a point where caring for children is the ONLY excuse for walking away from work for a few hours shows a screwed up attitude toward work. Not to mention that employers pay too little to allow people the flexibility to take breaks to recharge.

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear collars and leashes.

In other words, you can’t cut off a source of health care because you got all wee-wee’d up about a sketchy video.

There is a product on the market called The Little Rooster that you tuck into your undies at night, and in the morning, it starts vibrating on your clitoris to wake you up.

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

In addition to being named the first non-human Meridian Hometown Hero, Jaxon has been awarded a probationary firefighter badge.