Rebekah Kuschmider

When I saw the trending hashtag #DemocraticWhores, I got really excited, thinking maybe Democrats were all strutting around today in those sensational boots Julia Roberts wore way back in Pretty Woman. Nancy Pelosi could rock those boots, don’t you think?

The body and face we have today is such a tenuous thing. The longer I live, the more strongly aware I am that there are no promises of health or wholeness. Beauty is fleeting, and does it matter anyway if your body suddenly ceases to work the way it "should"? Would I regret the days I spent peering at imperfections if suddenly my sight were gone?

Do you want a man known for calling people “losers” to be sitting at a table with all the major economic powers in the world and trying to work out international trade deals or arms agreements? Or do you think he’d offend everyone in the room so much that he’d turn us into a global pariah?

One of the most popular Snapchat accounts these days isn’t a Kardashian, nor is it someone who once dated a Kardashian. It’s a plastic surgeon.

So. The election. Yeah.

Kesha hit another roadblock in her campaign to be free from her producer/abuser/rapist this week. I’m sorry — alleged abuser and rapist. No one seems to be willing to convict Dr. Luke of the allegations of rape and abuse leveled against him by the singer.

If you are a dog or a cat and have sensitive hearing and a limited understanding of patriotism, fireworks seem like an assault. For all your dog knows, the world is actually ending in a blaze of colorful sparkles and loud explosions.

After much deliberation, the Food Police have determined that caffeine, in moderation, is still not bad for people. You are free to drink 400 mg of caffeine a day— the equivalent of 36 ounces of regular coffee — and nothing bad will happen to you.

“And I saw something wrapped around her, so I ran up and punched it in the side of the head,” Gibbs told the CBC. “At that point, I realized it was a cougar.”

The Congressional baseball game has been happening for over 100 years. It is a highlight of summer among Beltway folks. And during this morning's practice, some fuckwit opened fire. And he shot people who could have been my husband, or any of his bosses, or any of his coworkers, or any of our myriad friends on the Hill. And I am shattered.