Virgie Tovar

As much as I love the idea of family, I actually like not being married, and I actually like not being a mother right now.

It’s taken me a long time to write about this topic because I’m not an eating disorder specialist or clinician.

Like, "Yum, there is a table full of delicious food" but also, "Ugh, am I gonna hate myself after I eat this?"

Would you date a fat fetishist? It always feels complicated to answer this question, but I promise an honest one by the end of part two.

To me, being a spinster is a lot about prioritizing myself, my needs and my desires over the culture’s needs and desires for my life.

I know that not everyone has the same appetite for The Vent, but when it comes to doing work around diet culture and fatphobia, venting is a powerful tool. For people who are in the process of healing from diet culture, we are often wading through an enormous ocean of misinformation, gas lighting and dirty ol’ lies. Without access to venting, our emotions and thoughts occur in sort of a vacuum where we can easily talk ourselves out of what may well be very astute analysis.

One of the things I have done for myself in adulthood as part of my healing process is make a strong claim to fatness femininity.

I spent most of last week in a southern California heat wave.

For the past two weeks, I’ve met up with my friend Caya in the Mission for acupuncture and pupusas/pizza/both. #HighlyRecommend