Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

Virgie Tovar

Take The Cake: Meet Chile’s Fat Mafia  

I arrive at the airport and I see the chubby, bespectacled face of my friend, Andrea. This was the beginning of my adventure with Chile's fat mafia!

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“Therapy for how we live today,” said someone with the voice equivalent of the color “light blue.” Image: Talkspace.

Take The Cake: I Signed Up For An Internet Therapist (And I Love Her)

Whenever [my last therapist and I] got to talking about the ways that being fat had shaped my romantic experiences, or the ways that racism or xenophobia had shaped my family’s life, she would get this far-off look. Like, she wanted to believe me, but that she was grappling with this belief that I was choosing to see life this way.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take-Out The Cake: Would You Date A Fat Fetishist? (Part 1)

Would you date a fat fetishist? It always feels complicated to answer this question, but I promise an honest one by the end of part two.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: 3 Reasons I Don’t Use The Word “Bully”

The word “bully” makes us think we’re talking about a tiny handful of anti-social individuals when in fact we’re talking about a group of people.

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@virgietovar on Instagram

Take The Cake: Body Hating Mornings? Add This One Thing To Your Bedroom

I got tired of waking up and being terrified for my health and so I decided to do what I’d been taught to do in moments of distress: craft.

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Take The Cake: Nancy’s Thin Privilege Got Barb Killed. THANKS, NANCY.

It was Nancy's thin privilege that obscured her ability to see what Barb saw in the Popular Kids, to make the social leap that Barb couldn't, and that led her to ultimately symbolically (and actually) leave behind their friendship when a more normative offer presented itself.

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Why does self-love feel harder than dieting? Let's talk about it!

Take The Cake: Why Does Self-Love Feel Harder Than Dieting?

There is not a single path to self-love, and so you must become an engineer of that process. We have to feel lots of uncomfortable things.

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When I realized I wanted to take on fat shaming and diet culture, my intuitive response was to start with me.

Take The Cake: Is Empowerment, Like, Victim Blaming's Cousin?

As I’ve begun to teach other people about how to break up with diet culture, I offer everything in my personal artillery. And I’m proud of that. I love that. However, I’m always quick to remind them that fatphobia isn’t their problem to fix because they — WE — didn’t create it. Our job is to heal ourselves and to live life on our own terms.

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I went to Glamour Women of the Year Awards and took selfies with Gabourey Sidibe!

Take The Cake: Gabourey Sidibe Noticed My Hair Bird At The Glamour Women Of The Year Awards

Earlier this month I flew into JFK for the Glamour Women of the Year Awards (WOTY, for short) and took selfies with Gabourey Sidibe!

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Stop Shaming Indirect Communication

I’ve been ashamed of my indirect communication style for a really long time. Recently I realized that I was done feeling shame for the way I navigate.

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