Dear Gwyneth Paltrow, Please Be a Dirty Cheater and Make All Our Mean-Girl Dreams Come True

No doubt about it: People really despise Gwyneth Paltrow. Those elitist quotes! That ridiculous "richie rich" Goop site! Those pretentious kid names!

The world's most-beautiful woman is, in fact, also the world's most-hated celeb. In so many ways, she personifies everything women fear and loathe in other women: She's blonde, skinny, wealthy and holier-than-thou, and all the hot guys (Ben Affleck! Brad Pitt!) want her. So we're practically chomping at the bit to see her fall from grace, so we can move to the side as she hits the cold, hard ground.

This pathological desire to see the popular cheerleader eat s*it during her Homecoming routine is playing a significant role in our collective desire to unveil Gwynnie as a dirty cheater (and on adorable music nerd Chris Martin, no less!). First, of course, there was the rampant buzz surrounding Vanity Fair's planned story on her supposed infidelity, which was ultimately pulled. Now, new allegations that she cheated on Martin with an entertainment lawyer are being slammed by a rep.

Neither allegation has any evidence to back it up, but still, we can't help but hope she's a dirty cheater. As Graydon Carter said in his explanation of why he decided not to run the hotly anticipated article: was such a far cry from the almost mythical story that people were by now expecting - the 'epic takedown', filled with 'bombshell' revelations - that it was bound to be a disappointment.

The head editor of one of the nation's premier magazines basically called us out for actively wanting a woman to be outed as a cheater, so we could judge her with glee as her family fell apart. This, alas, is the dark side of celeb worship: As psychotherapist Joseph Burgo has put it, "Because we envy those celebrities with their perfect lives, we take pleasure in their downfall."
This is dangerous territory, especially when it comes to pinning infidelity, a form of slut-dom, on another woman without any real justification for doing so. So until we get evidence, let's cut Gwyneth a break on the cheater thing. Don't worry: You can still think she's totally annoying.
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