Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

Why Is It So Hard To Imagine Our Lives After Dieting?

Dieting isn’t just a practice; it’s a way of life. What do we do when we don’t have any more calories to count and we have to deal with the wide-open space left in their wake?

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Where Do You Feel Safe In Your Fat Body? 

There are a lot of places where fat people don’t feel safe because of fatphobia. What does it feel like to feel safe in your fat body?

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: I Fight For This Fat Brown Feminine Body

What does it mean to want this body? What does it mean to fight for this brown, fat feminine body? In this culture, it means revolution.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take The Cake: Do Smaller Fat People Have Privilege?

I came to realize that even though I was certainly a bona fide member, that some fat people were far more acutely marginalized than me.

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Image Credit: Virgie Tovar (Instagram: @virgietovar)

Take The Cake: How Did Body Positive Dieting Become A Thing? 

A couple of weeks ago I got an email that contained a question I never thought I’d be asked.

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@virgietovar on IG: "Someone who was trying to woo me gave me this ginormous apple fritter today and I was like YES I HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN GOOD AT TELEPATHICALLY CONVEYING WHAT I EXPECT FROM MEN."

Take The Cake: Dating While Fat Shouldn’t Be This Weird 

I already feel super visible because I’m a fat woman wearing neon most likely, which I’ll admit I’m kinda into. But add a dude to the equation and all of a sudden I feel like people’s eyeballs are a moon orbiting the planet on which our initial fumbling exchanges are taking place. High pressure.

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"All I want is a hamburger with pastrami on it and to write a story about dick." (Image Credit: Mighty Moose Art, @mightymooseart)

Take The Cake: Diary For May 10 - Pastrami, Dick, Feelings

The point is: no matter how wonderfully delicious a man (or anyone) is, once you’ve seen him sneeze, fall, eat peanut butter or chew loudly, if there’s nothing else (or mostly nothing else), then he will ultimately make your skin crawl. So, there’s no point after all, right? In doing things the way we know how to do them?

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Image from the author's Instagram (@virgietovar)

Take The Cake: Thin People Aren't "Naturally" Superior To Fat People

Fat people, we do not have to acquiesce to our culture's normalization of hierarchy. We do not have to turn the other cheek. Joy does not come at the expense of your dignity, of your humanity.

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“Therapy for how we live today,” said someone with the voice equivalent of the color “light blue.” Image: Talkspace.

Take The Cake: I Signed Up For An Internet Therapist (And I Love Her)

Whenever [my last therapist and I] got to talking about the ways that being fat had shaped my romantic experiences, or the ways that racism or xenophobia had shaped my family’s life, she would get this far-off look. Like, she wanted to believe me, but that she was grappling with this belief that I was choosing to see life this way.

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