Carrie Saum

Not only was TV working as part of my parenting routine, we also unashamedly used it as a babysitter. Yes, you read that correctly!

So, when your BFF moves into her first real home and her husband has a birthday at basically the same moment, you bake a cake. And not just any cake but a beautiful thing made of the best ingredients. You aim high, confident that you can come through for your BFF and celebrate her family's milestones with four spongy layers filled with thick raspberry preserves and succulent buttercream.

When I turned 21, my body crashed.

It was a life-altering mouthgasm of flavor explosions, and I totally wanted to pack my bags for India and Bali to have my own Eat Pray Love experience.

Charcuterie. Have you heard of it?

Every year, I recreate my favorite street vendor’s glüwine (pronounced glue-vine), and remember that crazy freedom. I’m instantly transported back to those snowy cobblestone streets, freezing hands and feet, warm belly, and everything tinged with magic even while being naively idiotic.

I am not here for your betterment. I am not here to be your dumping ground for all of your thoughts and fears. You are not entitled to my emotional labor!

This is the season where we Pumpkin Spice ALL the things. Pumpkin spice lattes? Check. Pumpkin spice chocolate? Check. Muffins, cake, cookies, scones, sodas, and Cheerios? CHECK. If scientists could figure out how to pumpkin spice newborn babies and puppies, I'm sure they would because we are crazy about All Things Pumpkin Spice.

Instead of making lunch once a day, I make it once every three days. It saves on energy, brain power, and I don't have to figure out feeding myself in my janky kitchen more often than absolutely necessary.

No real measuring, no special ingredients, and it makes cookies that even the snobbiest cookie connoisseur will crave? It might seem too good to be true, but it's absolutely real.