Carrie Saum

Spring is fully coming to life this month.

I LOVE brunch. I love brunch more than I love most humans/animals/home renovation shows. It will come as no surprise when I tell you that I revere brunch like many people revere Lady Gaga and The Big Lebowski and Christmas. Brunch is a Big Deal for me — I take it seriously.

We all have that One Friend. They found a product that they love and just can’t get enough of it. Whatever your problem is, their MLM has a fix for it.

I am not here for your betterment. I am not here to be your dumping ground for all of your thoughts and fears. You are not entitled to my emotional labor!

Winter is coming with the cold bite to the wind, the short days and long nights. We can’t escape it but here's how you can cope with winter like a boss!

Next, juice your blood oranges. Or skip this and buy the juice from the spendy little corner market that sells $8 fair trade chocolate made from cocoa beans harvested purely through meditative thoughts generated by unionized zen monkeys in Thailand. They also sell blood orange juice. You’ll find it next to the $15 cashew milk.

This is becoming an expensive habit, but nothing really says “I love you” like homemade cookies, so I’m going with it.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of internalized toxic beliefs, but it’s a start. Keep fighting the good fight, friends.

By 13, I clearly understood: Thinness was next to Godliness, and I could never achieve either without extraordinary means. Jesus loves skinny people.

Whoever Waldorf is, I love their style of salads the most. Fruit, celery, creamy goodness. It's hard to go wrong. I mean, you CAN go wrong, but you shouldn't because that would be silly.