Claire Hopple

It’s not that you don’t love the people calling you (unless you’re solely receiving spam calls), it’s just that you’d rather be with them. You think that the phone can’t replace seeing their faces, experiencing their presence in all the dimensions currently available to humans. And sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) you just need time to recharge by yourself. Why does that feel so wrong sometimes?

If you want to burn off your hair, possibly several limbs and maybe even your entire yard, then by all means, fire up that completely frozen bird. But if you’d rather play it safe, follow these simple tips:

First, if you’re bored, congratulations are in order.

Yes, you should be paying attention to matcha. Though it’s been around for hundreds of years, people on this side of the world are just starting to take notice of it. Better late than never to the healthy bright green tea party, I guess.

Just don’t do it. In fact, reading this is in direct opposition to the titular admonition above.

You knew before you even finished reading the title that you’re addicted. You’re so addicted that you’re actually proud of it, smug even. And with Today’s Deals and free shipping, who can blame you?

You mention wanting to feast on a sweet stack of pancakes for Sunday brunch and the next time you open Instagram, there’s an IHOP ad star

Sure, happiness is too abstract a concept to measure perfectly, and it’s safe to say that a serious case of the Mondays can find you no matter what poorly drawn boundaries you’ve planted yourself within. Still, an environment can make a significant impact on your overall mood.

Nothing makes me get my Grinch on faster than glitter-bombed Christmas wrapping and nasally voices ringing in my eardrums at every store.

The year’s not over yet and already its bizarre occurrences and oddities are innumerable.