Gigi Engle

There is no position I despise quite like reverse cowgirl.

In order to develop a healthy relationship, you’ve got to give a little to get a little. Oral sex is all about giving.

It is a strange thing to find oneself at the tentative intersection of being female, sex positive, and in a long-term, monogamous relationship.

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

If someone wants to be with you they should be obsessed with you. This person should not be telling you not to tag them in photos (so people can't see you're together), not texting you for days on end (and not caring if it upsets you), always making you come to his or her neighborhood because he or she doesn’t want to travel. A person who does this is NOT worth your time.

There are still parts of the world where women/vagina owners aren’t allowed inside their own home or community when they’re menstruating. They’re seen as impure. I believe the scientific term for all of this thinking is “total and utter bull.”

I feel absolutely zero shame or embarrassment saying I am one hell of a badass bitch. I’m sure of myself and I know who I am. What many who know me don’t know is that when it comes to sex, I am a submissive. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that, honey.

Recognizing your own faults in relationships is hard. Here are some definitive signs you’re actually the problem in your relationship.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

I found that Yoni crystals can apparently put you at risk for toxic shock?!??! And I was like: WHAAAAAT?!?!!?!?