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In case you live on Mars, which is the only possible way you've missed the shitshow that is Kim Davis, this isn't Davis's first rodeo. Oh no, Davis was released from jail earlier this week after she was found in contempt of court for refusing to issue marriage licenses. This order came not just from the local courts, but was backed by the god damn Supreme Court of the United States. Because, you know, you should totally ignore the highest court in the fucking nation.

No, really. It turns out that incredibly strong viruses have been chilling in the arctic (see what I did there?) for millennia, and NOW they are being uncovered by the melting of the ice.

In today's THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T EAT NICE THINGS news: The Cucumbers.

One thing that is absolutely true is that Donald Trump insults everyone. He’s been loser-ing and dummy-ing his way across the slate of GOP presidential hopefuls for months now. It’s actually jaw-droppingly awful, because it’s pretty evident that he insults EVERYONE. He can’t pull it together enough to be polite under any circumstance, which means he would turn a state dinner into a Real Housewives-style table-turning circus. In fact, I could see him calling Netanyahu a “prostitution whore” and that terrifies me.

Okay, I know that's not very Christian of me. Luckily, I'm an atheist. But, really, if we are being honest, who doesn't want to punch Kim Davis in the face by now?

ICYMI, today marks the first official day of the seasonal return of the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte.

SO in Today's Who Really Gives A Shit news, TAYLOR SWIFT overthrows Kim K.

If you lay awake at night praying for new episodes of your favorite childhood TV shows, your prayers may soon be answered. Nickelodeon confirmed that it is considering re-boots of its most beloved shows from the 80s and 90s.