I recently returned to the online dating arena and was immediately reminded of why I left. As a man interested in the arts, I find myself at odds with that acme of the stereotypical alpha male, bare-chested, post-gym workout selfie. Ladies, here are my notes on what you should expect from a manly man vs. a hipster dude on OkCupid.
The Manly Man: The perfectly-shaved head because, while increasing testosterone, hair loss is a result.
Hipster Dude: The pomaded coif with shaved sides, aka “The Brooklyn.”
The Facial Hair
The Manly Man: A beard or a moustache of at least the density of Tom Selleck’s (not worn ironically).
Hipster Dude: A beard or a moustache of at least the density of Tom Selleck’s (worn ironically).
Getting the OkCupid Date
The Manly Man: If decency is not the goal, then a “hey baby” works. If decency is the goal, then talking about their trip to Atlantic City works.
Hipster Dude: Talks about how they also are really into a 2001: Space Odyssey. Talk about their great trip to Berlin was and how it relates to their potential date’s Euro-trip.
The Date Attire
The Manly Man: Wears a crisp dress shirt tucked in, dress pants with no pleats, leather shoes but not boots, and black or navy socks. If going to “the club,” then substitute crisp dress shirt for tight black T-shirt, preferably V-neck.
Hipster Dude: A suit from H&M, but tailored and paired with leather Chuck Taylors because a date shouldn’t feel like a job interview or a court appearance. Socks must be colored.
What They Talk About on the Date
The Manly Man: Talks about their recent trip to OBX, or which hard liquor is contributing to their most recent hangover. Conversations about their bright future in finance are less encouraged because it may scream “workaholic.” At the end of the night, they talk about the alluring hard liquor at their house.
Hipster Dude: Talks about which IPAs on the beer list they haven’t had yet. They also talk about the art project, band or flirtations with photography (also gardening can substitute as an art project). At the end of the night, they talk about the vinyl record collection at their house that the date absolutely needs to see.
What They Talk About Back Their House
The Manly Man: “I think there’s a view you need to see in my room.”
Hipster Dude: “Doesn’t this My Bloody Valentine record just kill?”