family

Luck.

I know how it feels to not contribute financially to the household. I know how it feels to be completely dependent on someone else for my financial stability. I know how it feels to know that if something dreadful and unthinkable happened, I’d be completely destitute. And it’s terrifying.

During the second year, I had an epiphany. I began to understand what my friends had meant about my overprotectiveness.

So, I got an email from my brother yesterday telling me that he’s not coming to the wedding. “I want to be there,” he writes, “I really do, but the idea of being consigned to [our mother and her boyfriend’s] care for the duration of the trip is driving me mad. You know, the whole lack of autonomy and being on someone else's time and all that.”

Dear Erin, I’m 23 years old. I’ve been in and out of bad relationships for about three years. Lately, I sort of cleaned house and got rid of the men in my life that have caused me heartache. The problem is I am attracted to and keep flirting with my friend’s 44-year-old father.

This week I have been thinking a lot about home, and how home shapes the way we feel about our bodies.

“Feminism” wasn’t a word I heard much growing up. When I did hear it, I equated it with a historical event, not a work in progress. I thought first-wave feminism was a one-and-done deal, and that all the work necessary for women’s equality had already been accomplished.

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.