body positivity

As I’ve begun to teach other people about how to break up with diet culture, I offer everything in my personal artillery. And I’m proud of that. I love that. However, I’m always quick to remind them that fatphobia isn’t their problem to fix because they — WE — didn’t create it. Our job is to heal ourselves and to live life on our own terms.

The truth is, your body does not want you to restrict your food, and it does not want you to lose weight, especially when it feels like food is scarce. So, your body will sabotage your efforts almost every time — while also making it harder and harder to lose weight the more 'famines' you put it through.

As a curvaceous 27-year-old who developed early, I was constantly reprimanded for my selection in attire. Whether I was complimented by strangers or nagged by loved ones, one thing was made certain: my well-endowed "assets" caught both positive and negative attention, even when it was out of my control.

For the first time in 15 years, I didn’t have to ask for permission to get a haircut, so I chopped it all off. Oh, and I bleached it — from very dark to bright white. This was against the advice of everyone I had asked, all of whom told me to start with something less drastic to make sure I didn’t freak out.

This cautionary caveat was almost always immediately followed by, “What is your husband going to think?”

I know you’re probably wondering how that happened, so I’m going to tell you. (You’re welcome.)

The first sign that something was wrong was the weirdly watery discharge. I'd never had vaginal discharge that looked like that before, and considering I'd just finished my period, the large-ish amount was confusing to me. But everything else felt fine. So I put a pantyliner on and went about my life, thinking it would stop soon.

F*ck that noise. Wear a bikini if you want. Or wear a one-piece if you want. Or wear a baggy t-shirt from a Def Leppard concert and knee-length bike shorts if you want. Wear whatever you want. But definitely go to the beach.

I know that the world can seem like a scary and terrible place, where it feels like the threat of judgment and exclusion is constantly looming. That’s because it is; but there’s so much more love and kindness on this planet than evil and suffering. There is generosity and spirit in every human being that runs so deep, you’ll find it hard not to fall a little bit in love with each and every one of them.

We have been told that that's how it works: calories in vs calories out. "Eat less than you expend and you'll lose weight."